Me, in a Nutshell

(Eric Shansby)
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By Gene Weingarten
Sunday, March 8, 2009

Facebook is encouraging people to write lists of 25 random facts about themselves. Here is mine.

1. When writing checks in January, some people forget to use the new year. I still sometimes write "19--."

2. If I wake to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, my dog often moves up from the foot of the bed to take my place. Rather than start a fight with her, I move to another bed.

3. My car is older than Jamie Lynn Spears.

4. I can still remember every uniform number of every starting player and the entire pitching rotation of the 1961 Yankees, including Clete Boyer, whose number changed that year from 34 to 6. I cannot, at this moment, recall my Social Security number.

5. The apartment I grew up in had two bathrooms, one of which was reserved for the exclusive use of our dog. I didn't know how bizarre this was until I got married and matter-of-factly mentioned it to my wife.

6. I am embarrassed about how unruly my hair is, but I never comb or brush it because I don't want to seem like the kind of person who cares what his hair looks like.

7. There are eight people I consider very close friends. Four are men, and four are women. The average year of birth of the men is 1955. The average year of birth of the women is 1975. I contend this says nothing significant about me.

8. There are 26 clocks in my house. Most are antiques I have repaired myself. One is from 1792. Another is worth $2,100. The only clock that always has the right time is the one on the microwave.

9. I dress badly but still feel qualified to say that Michelle Obama dresses badly, too. I realize this opinion is taboo. Also, Lucille Ball was never that funny.

10. I am a devout atheist but can't explain why the moon is exactly the right size, and gets positioned so precisely between the Earth and the sun, that total solar eclipses are perfect. It bothers me.

11. I always sleep on the top sheet. My wife always sleeps beneath it. You perceive the problem.

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