A Charitable Solicitation Short on Goodwill

Dear Miss Manners:

My husband and I serve on the board of directors of a nonprofit YMCA camp, which was founded decades ago by my husband's father and bears his name. It is dear to our family and does wonderful things for children, including providing "camperships" for those not able to afford camp tuition.

This year, our board sent personalized letters to friends and family members soliciting donations to the camp's annual fund campaign. My letter made it abundantly clear that no amount was too small to make a difference to this camp, which is struggling to survive in a difficult economic time.

I chose the recipients of my letters carefully and sent only to long-established friends

A. who I felt could easily afford to give something;

B. who have been guests at our home for lavish dinners and parties many times, at least once in 2008;

C. for whom we have often done personal favors, for them or their children.

A few were friends who have solicited us for donations to their favorite charities, and we have responded with gifts each time, sometimes generously.

Most responded with donations. Some wrote that they were not able to give at this time but wanted to be kept on a list for next year's campaign. Some said they already had charities to which they donated to the limit of their abilities.

What do I do or say to the few who failed to respond in any way, not even the courtesy of a reply? One friend advised that it is incumbent on me to call to ensure that the letter was received. If it didn't reach them, then my disappointment in them is unfounded. On the other hand, if I call or write and they don't respond or are discomfited by my importunity, what then?

This is really disturbing to me. Two of these people are very good friends, and I feel awkward even seeing them at this point.