Style Invitational: Week 808
It's been awhile since we've done a word-bank contest, one that asks you to write some passage using only a particular set of words. Several readers did not exactly applaud our rearrangements of the Gettysburg Address, let alone the Book of Genesis, so here's a source a bit less sacrosanct: This Week: Create a humorous poem or other writing using only the words contained in this week's Style Invitational column and results. Anything longer than 50 words must be astonishingly good. You must use the exact word used (e.g., you can't turn it into a plural) and you can't use a word more than once unless it appears more than once here. You may change capitalization and punctuation.
Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives the scientific treatise "What's Your Poo Telling You?," donated by close-on-1,000-time Loser Tom Witte.
Other runners-up win a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt. Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Magnets. First Offenders get a smelly tree-shaped air "freshener" (Fir Stink for their First Ink). One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, March 23. Put "Week 808" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published April 11. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. This week's Honorable Mentions name is by Drew Bennett; the revised title for next week's results is by Andrew Hoenig.
Report From Week 804
in which we asked you to create a "typo" in an actual Washington Post headline by adding, deleting or substituting one letter, or transposing two letters, and then write a "bank headline" to match the revised main head. (Some of the entries below include the original word in brackets at the end.)
4. Once More, With Feeding
Kate Moss Launches New Career as Plus Model (Jay Shuck, Minneapolis)
3. What Could Have Been Horse?
Travelers Ponder the Mysteries of Foreign Menus
(Beverley Sharp, Washington)
2. the winner of the book "Boring Postcards USA"
Rwanda's Move Into Condo