Which 'Witch' Is Which? Follow That RV!

Talk about a star vehicle.

For all the vast changes in culture and technology that separate Disney's 1975 kid flick "Escape to Witch Mountain" and the remake "Race to Witch Mountain," last weekend's box office champ, at least there is recognition of one eternal truth:

You can't do "Witch Mountain" without a Winnebago.

Or rather, you shouldn't, and Disney is wise to pair leading man the Rock (we still can't call him Dwayne Johnson) with the same kind of wheels Eddie Albert had in '75: a clunky old RV emblazoned with that huge, unmistakable two-tone green "W" logo.

The Winnebago pops up late, though, in "Race," the tale of spaceship-wrecked teen aliens (AnnaSophia Robb and Alexander Ludwig) trying to elude government meanies and get home with the help of a Vegas ex-con (the Rock). And while the RV is an undeniably pleasing nod to "Escape" (much better, in fact, than wince-inducing cameos by original "Witch" kids Ike Eisenmann and Kim Richards), it ultimately doesn't play the same climactic role.

Which is to say: Sorry, Escapees, the Winnebago doesn't fly this time.

And the absence of a floating camper isn't the only thing that gives us a case of '70s nostalgia.

We miss all the animals in "Escape." One dog -- one! -- is all you get now, instead of a whole pack of guard dogs, the untamed horse Thunderhead and a random bear -- all subject to the telepathic control of Tia (Richards). And don't forget Winkie, the terribly clever black cat.

Plus, we miss the harmonica, which is somehow necessary for Tony (Eisenmann) to execute his powers of telekinesis -- particularly when he must bring a coat rack to life to stop a shifty sheriff, or when Tony distracts a pesky highway patrolman by sending his parked motorcycle over a cliff. (Remember, kids: Law enforcement, not trustworthy!) The harmonica also allows Tony to wistfully echo the film's catchy score by Johnny Mandel (of "M*A*S*H" theme fame).

And really, why shouldn't Tony be wistful? He and Tia don't even realize that they are aliens until the end of the film; they just think they're orphans who don't fit in because of their mysterious powers. The new "Race" has no time for such sentimentality; its young heroes Seth and Sara (so '09!) are on a highly focused high-tech mission to save both Earth and their home planet.

Tony and Tia don't suspect that her "star case" -- a shiny mini-lunchboxlike thing that she's always had -- has anything to do with otherworldly origins, at least not until it's knocked to the ground (way to go, Winkie!) to reveal a hidden map that will lead them -- with the help of crotchety-kindly old Jason (Albert) and his Winnebago -- to Witch Mountain, where they're finally reunited with their alien kin.

They really just want a happy home life, and if there ultimately weren't a mother ship to move into, they'd be just as happy to keep toodling along with Jason. And wasn't that what we all wanted back in the day: to be free to see the sights with an approving father figure in an environmentally disastrous rec room on wheels?

(Give us a moment. Tissue, please.)

"Escape" even wrapped up with a gleefully insidious message: Tia wasn't the only one out there with a star case; there were other children whose hidden maps would eventually come to light. (Other children? Who don't fit in? Who are probably telepathic/telekinetic, too, if they'd just practice a little? You mean, like . . . ? "Mother"! Where have you been hiding our star case? Give it up!)

Yes, it was all delicious high-'70s cheese from the Mouse House, served with what can most kindly be termed "extra-special effects": the airborne Winnebago, various props suspended with not-so-hidden wires, a telekinetically controlled bag of flour hurled at a carful of baddies (grocery items as weapons; much more imaginative, really). And if you longed to see Tony and Tia's adventures continue, Disney delivered "Return From Witch Mountain" in 1978 with none other than Bette Davis along for the campy ride.

Alas, the simple pleasures of "Escape" survive only on DVD -- and in the '70s mall triplex of our mind. As S.E. Hinton would say, that was then, this is now. But, we'll always have "Escape," and young fans can relish "Race" on 2009 terms.

Remember why you love it, kids, and tell us all about it when it's time for "Witch Mountain 2043."