Weingarten v. Weingarten

The legal battle of the century

The following e-mail exchange actually occurred, and this column originally ran on May 25, 2003:

To: Reid Weingarten, Partner, Steptoe & Johnson, Washington, D.C.

Stop using my name. I may have to sue. -- Gene Weingarten

I feel the same. Who the hell are you? -- Reid Weingarten

I write for The Washington Post. You better desist in this little name scam of yours. This town isn't big enough for the both of us. -- Gene Weingarten

Oh, right. I know who you are. I'm asked all the time if we are related. It's annoying because your stuff ain't that funny. Go away. -- Reid Weingarten

Fat chance. The Village Voice has been threatening legal action against dinkier papers named "Voice," trying to get them to change their names. If they can do that, I can do this. You are dinkier than I am. Back off or face the consequences. -- Gene Weingarten

You are a low-life shtick writer for The Washington Post. I am a big-time criminal defense lawyer. -- Reid Weingarten

You may make more than I do, but I have more Google hits. That is the recognized international yardstick of fame. You are stepping on my celebrity, and appropriating my identity, and it is a tort, and I am prepared to make you pay big-time. -- Gene Weingarten

People read you on the can, and only after they've finished the box scores. My lesser clients are more important and influential than you will ever be. -- Reid Weingarten

I do concede that you have ably represented many wealthy, white-collar persons accused of heinous acts of corporate crime and all forms of public corruption, and that many of these persons are currently at large, thanks to your assistance. But couldn't you perform these same morally ambiguous services with equal success as, say, "Murray Feinstein, Esq."?

Besides, what kind of a name is "Reid" for a Jewish boy? What, was "Trevor" taken?