On Disco Night, Some Idolettes Break the Mirror-Ball Mold

Told they had to sing disco tunes on "American Idol," uppity Idolettes staged a coup last night.

It all began innocently enough. Lil Rounds actually attempted a disco performance. Nobody can pull off a cat suit and platform heels like Lil. Okay, maybe Adam Lambert. Still, Lil looked sensational: spangly hoop earrings, ever-extending extensions now nearly to her waist, those incredible shoes. Lil didn't hit a single note of Chaka Kahn's "I'm Every Woman" but seemed to have a great time disco-dancing around them. It's followed by the weekly Judges Pull Long Faces After Lil Performance, which is followed by the traditional Lil Tears Up and Lil Goes Out Rebutting.

But after Lil, Kris Allen gave his impression of what it would sound like if Carlos Santana were forced to perform Donna Summer's "She Works Hard for the Money." The judges can't resist his petit paleness, and his parallelogram mouth. "It's so original because you didn't actually try to do disco!" they marveled.

Danny Gokey has hired even more trumpets and louder backup singers to cover him during his smooth-jazz version of Earth, Wind and Fire's "September," accompanied by the usual clumsy Gokey leg-lift dance and service employee's I'm-being-nice-to-you-cuz-I-have-to smile. Judge Simon Cowell finally noticed, but the other judges once again gave him the Gokey Pass.

Then, Allison Iraheta gave Summer's "Hot Stuff" the Rocker Chick's Don't Modulate once-over, which the judges pronounced "brilliant."

And then, what everyone had been waiting for: extra-flamboyant Disco Adam Lambert!

Only he's already done a disco tune in the competition, a few weeks back, when he sang "Play That Funky Music." So the Yvonne Elliman dance number "If I Can't Have You" became a dreamy ballad, sung by Adam, once again bathed in blue, his thick bottle-black hair upswept into the most perfect pompadour ever imagined by a hairdresser.

Finally, a second Idolette stuck to disco as disco -- Matt Giraud doing the Bee Gees' "Stayin' Alive" -- which Cowell found unforgivable, saying it lacked originality. "Get out of 'Idol'-land and into the real world," Simon sneered.

Anoop Desai got to close the show, performing Summer's "Dim All the Lights" as Muzak. Anoop dressed as a British public-school lad, complete with pink sweater under light-colored suit. "Real men know how to wear pink," Paula marveled, adding that she loved the facial hair but why didn't he smile more when he has such beautiful teeth, while the American Idol Decency Police crept slowly toward the judges' table with a large butterfly net.

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An unfeeling federal judge in Chicago has denied us the opportunity to see former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich and former "American Idol" tweener heartthrob Sanjaya Malakar fight over hair-care products in the wilds of Costa Rica.

"I do not have confidence that things will not go astray if I modify bond conditions," U.S. District Judge James Zagel said yesterday in response to the indicted Blago's request that he be allowed into the Costa Rican jungle in search of gainful employment on NBC's remake of "I'm a Celebrity . . . Get Me Out of Here!"