The Style Invitational Humor Contest, Week 814: Breed Horses to Make 'Grandfoals'

(Bob Staake for The Washington Post)
Saturday, April 25, 2009

Hot on the heels of the breed-the-racehorses contest whose results run today, it's of course post time for Year 4 of our grandfoals race. This week: "Breed" any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name their foal.

Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives both a 2007 Kentucky Derby souvenir mint julep glass, donated by 12-time Loser Wilson Varga, and a tin of no-doubt-stale horse-shaped chocolates; on the can is painted a horse and the legend "Are you a stallion . . . or a gelding?"

Other runners-up win a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt. Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Magnets. First Offenders get a smelly tree-shaped air "freshener" (Fir Stink for their First Ink). One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, May 4. Put "Week 814" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published May 23. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. This week's Honorable Mentions name is by Pam Freeman of McLean, a First Offender; the revised title for next week's results is by Beverley Sharp.

Report From Week 810

Our 15th (yes!) annual running of the contest in which we supply a list of 100 horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races, and ask you to "breed" any two and name the offspring: As usual, the Empress received thousands of entries, many of them fabulously clever -- her "short" list of worthies numbered 280 names. If you entered this contest and your name does not appear here, it's no doubt among those remaining 224. (A little self-delusion is good for the psyche.) Note: We have so many First Offenders this week that we'll save space and mark them with asterisks.

The Winner of the Inker

Sir Phenomenal x Empire State = Knight Who Says NY (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)

2. the winner of the teacup depicting a peeing statue: Pitched Perfectly x Gone Astray = Don Larceny (Andrew Hoenig, Rockville)

3.Pitched Perfectly x Danger to Society = Criminal in Tent (Susan Thompson, Cary, N.C.)

4. Street Car x Rocket to the Moon = Stellaaaar! (Mark Eckenwiler, Washington)

Trailing by a Nose: Honorable Mentions

Skipadate x Pedestal = One Nightstand (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village)

Advice x Gluteus Maximus = Buttinski (*Pat Kanz, Ocean Pines, Md.)

Affirmatif x I Want Revenge = An Aye for an Aye (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)

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