Up Against the Wall-to-Wall Coverage

Hey, I'm not proud that I predicted Jay Cutler would be a bust. I'm also not proud that I'm predicting Mark Sanchez will be a bust. And I'm not proud that, for the 16th time in 17 years, I watched the entire first round of the NFL draft on ESPN and, to prove it, took notes of my deepest thoughts:

3:58 p.m. ET Saturday: I make the mistake of turning on the TV two minutes early and hear Chris Berman exclaim, "Are you ready for some NFL draft?!?"

4:01: ESPN had a five-hour pre-draft special -- you know, maybe covering stuff it hadn't gotten to over the past several weeks.

4:02: The United States has deployed 38,000 troops to Afghanistan. ESPN deploys 39,000 to the NFL draft.

4:13: Can you imagine ESPN covering Election Day this way? Man, I might go out AND VOTE TWICE.

4:24: From where I'm sitting, Sanchez is just a better-looking version of Cutler: strong-armed, thick-skulled, full of hooey and hubris.

4:41: Jets give up two picks and three players to Browns to get Sanchez. They wanted him so badly, I'm told, they were willing to trade Piscataway, N.J., if necessary.

4:42: Steve Young on Sanchez: "He is presidential in the way he presents himself, comports himself." Presidential? What, his frat house elected him president?

4:50: In an otherwise large, ecstatic gathering of Andre Smith's family and friends, a baby is crying -- apparently the only one aware that he's been selected by the Bengals.

4:56: The Raiders' draft room, I suppose, consists of Al Davis, a change of sweatsuits and a Ouija board.

5:01: Todd McShay? Hmm. Another draft guru. Be still my heart!

5:08: Mel Kiper Jr. won't admit this, but every time he gets into his car, he sees Todd McShay in his rearview mirror.