No Foundation for Renters' Hurt Pride

Dear Miss Manners:

My husband and I are renting a nice home in an upscale neighborhood outside Washington. Since moving in, at least a dozen neighbors have approached us with the off-putting welcome of "So, you are renting this house?"

We both find the question to be rather forward and rude.

Without knowing our reason for renting, it puts us on the defensive for not being "able" to buy a home, when, in fact, we are more than able to; we just choose not to in this current market.

Could you help us with an appropriate comeback that lets them know that yes, we are renters, but that in no way makes us second-class citizens and we don't appreciate having to defend our status?

Don't you want to get the curtains up before you start sparring with the neighbors?

Miss Manners is not at all sure that you have any cause. She has no tolerance for pure nosiness, real estate or otherwise, but surely you understand that neighbors have a legitimate interest in what is going on in the neighborhood. Maybe they hate your landlords and hope they are gone for good. Maybe they like you and are hoping you are there to stay. Maybe they also rent.

Besides, don't you know that nowadays seeming rich is considered more offensive than seeming poor?

Dear Miss Manners:

My brother has a friend whose wife recently gave birth to a baby with Down syndrome. My brother was about to talk to his friend for the first time since the birth and did not know what to say to him. He asked my advice and I suggested he simply say, "Congratulations on the birth of your baby." Was this good advice, or was more called for in this situation?