Cavaliers Draw Strength From Missing Teammate

FOXBOROUGH, Mass., May 22 -- Each Virginia men's lacrosse player will wear a T-shirt underneath his jersey in Saturday's national semifinal game against Cornell. The back of the shirts read, "Just the boys." Embroidered on the left sleeve is a single name: "Will."

"To be honest with you," midfielder Max Pomper said, "we don't need that written on our sleeves to remember Will Barrow."

Barrow was a Virginia defenseman from 2005 to 2008. He died reportedly of an apparent suicide. A popular player on the team and around Virginia's campus, Barrow's death sent shockwaves throughout the school around Thanksgiving. The players hit hardest were his closest friends -- especially the seniors on the team -- who developed the motto "Just the boys" when spending time with one another.

"Picture, if you can, here's a boy that is one of your friends, very gregarious, outgoing kid," Coach Dom Starsia said. "He lives in the room next door, and what happens, happens. You can imagine what that's like for kids this age."

Starsia, who has won three national championships, encountered a situation never taught in coaching clinics. Despite his 26 years as a head coach, Starsia had no frame of reference to deal with Barrow's death.

"We spent as much time together -- probably in violation of NCAA rules -- from the moment it happened to inter-session break," Starsia said. "I wished we were practicing at the time. I remember that distinctly. But we were probably meeting on the average of every other day."

In one of those meetings, senior Mike Timms stood up. Despite his imposing 6-foot-5 presence, Timms is among the quietest players on the team. Both of his parents died before his 11th birthday. As his teammates struggled to cope, Timms took command.

"We're all searching for answers here," Timms told his teammates. "There are no answers. All we're trying to do here is learn how to live with the questions."

Said Starsia: "Everyone takes a step back and takes a deep breath when he speaks like that. Pomper is the emotional linchpin on the team. Timms is kind of the quiet giant. They all had their roles to get through it."

Virginia entered the season with championship aspirations. Starsia vacillated about whether the team should wear a jersey patch to memorialize Barrow before deciding against it.

"I didn't think we should be broadcasting it to every kid at every moment, because of the circumstances of Will's death," Starsia said. "I don't want a father to have to explain to his kid what that is in every moment."

Players made personal tributes, but Starsia maintained that if the Cavaliers had the type of season they wanted, Barrow would be honored at the end.