These QBs Try To Find The Write Way Back to NFL

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By Norman Chad

Monday, June 1, 2009

Brett Favre and Michael Vick are spiritual cellmates of sorts -- both iconic quarterbacks are out of the NFL and both want back in. While in prison, Vick became pen pals with Favre and they have continued to correspond. Here now are excerpts of the most recent Favre-Vick letters:

Dear Michael:

As far as I know, I'm retired. (Not!) No, seriously, bro, I'm just down here watching Oprah, cutting grass, mending fences. I spend more time at Home Depot than Bob Vila. Call me if you want to play catch.

Dear Brett:

They got me under house arrest here in Hampton for two months; all I can say is: Thank God for Tyler Perry's "House of Payne." TBS, man, very funny. Anyway, they fitted me with an electronic monitor -- I think the government's making me wear it, but it might be my fiancee Kijafa's doing.

Dear Michael:

Just talked on the phone with Sports Illustrated's Peter King -- told him I'm retired. (Not!) Every time I tell him I'm retired for good, he writes it down and reports it. If I told this jughead the world was flat, he'd write it down and report it.

Dear Brett:

I thought you got a lot of ESPN coverage, but those people put a mini-cam in my garbage disposal, plus when I opened up the fridge this morning, I could've sworn I saw Ed Werder next to the Miracle Whip.

Dear Michael:

Looked in the mirror today and said to myself, "You are retired." (Not!) Sure, I have a partially torn biceps muscle, but like I was telling my agent, Bus Cook -- I can throw spectacular interceptions with or without a good arm. Hell, it's not as if lives are at stake, I'm just putting some fans in the stands; hopefully, they're all wearing Wranglers.

Dear Brett:

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