OnLove
"She Was With Me the Whole Time"
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Sunday, June 28, 2009
Late in the summer of 1995, KayAnn Panagi and Brian Schoeneman, 18-year-olds from distant states on the East Coast, made their way to the freshman dorms of George Washington University.
The political junkies had chosen the college for the same reason: It was three blocks from the White House.
"And you can't get much closer than that," Schoeneman remembers thinking.
Both earned a spot on the university debate team, where they became pals and frequent sparring partners. Panagi was a big-haired Floridian who'd dreamed of coming to D.C. since childhood and could hold her own with the guys; Schoeneman was a towering Pennsylvanian, deep-voiced and still involved with a girlfriend back home.
The two hung out frequently over the next four years, arranging mixers between her sorority and his fraternity, working together when she was elected debate club president and he was named secretary.
"We got along very well," he says, "but there was no chemistry -- no spark."
And not enough attachment even to prompt the pair to keep in touch after graduation. Neither knew the other had stayed in Washington, that they both pursued careers in Republican politics, that at times over the next decade their offices were within blocks of each other.
Meanwhile, Schoeneman's long-distance relationship ended. Panagi cycled through a series of frustrating D.C. dating experiences in her 20s, eventually thinking she might have to leave town to find a place where she'd be as successful in her personal life as she was in her public affairs career.
He felt the same way. "It's like, 'You're in D.C. for this long. . . . You've got a good job. Why can't you find anybody?' " he says. "I was getting worried, you know."
Then in April 2007, Schoeneman got a surprising e-mail. It said, "Hey, is this Brian from GW?" and was signed KayAnn Panagi. She'd been doing research for a maritime client when she saw Schoeneman's name listed as a registered lobbyist for a labor organization.
"In my mind [I was] thinking that I can get some information that I need," she says. "We can catch up and he can help me out."
He did help her out. They met for a drink and quickly picked up in buddy mode -- trying out restaurants, catching the occasional movie. When a blind date canceled on Schoeneman the night before a black-tie gala, it was Panagi he recruited to come along.
