Week 823: Wryku

Gotta get us some

Ping-Pyongyang diplomacy:

Kim Jong Il has nukes.

It's really pretty much the Twitter contest everyone's been asking for, with an extra challenge. This week: Compose a humorous (or at least wry or clever) haiku -- which, for the purposes of this contest (don't write in to complain that we're misusing the term), we'll define as a three-line poem with five syllables in the first line, seven in the second line and five in the third -- on any subject that's been in the news lately. You may add a title to it.

Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a package of 20 It's Happy Bunny "happy sticks" of incense, "because your room smells like butt." It does not promise what your room will smell like after burning the incense: presumably less buttlike. Donated by Peter Metrinko.

Other runners-up win a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or Loser Mug. Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Magnets. First Offenders get a smelly tree-shaped air "freshener" (Fir Stink for their First Ink). One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to losers@washpost.com or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, July 6. Put "Week 823" in the subject line of your e-mail or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published July 25. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. This week's Honorable Mentions name is by Chris Doyle; the revised title for next week's contest is by Elden Carnahan.

Report From Week 819

in which we showed you these six drawings and asked you to tell us what they really were. Half a dozen people saw Drawing E as the backstage view of the Rockettes taking a bow, while many figured that Drawing C depicted a newfangled bread-baking machine, complete with pop-up timer, and Drawing D was the planned speedway for the Indianapolis 5.

The Winner of the Inker

Drawing E: The one thing that drove Mr. Centipede nuts: his wife's pantyhose draped over the shower rod. (Brendan Beary, Great Mills)

2. the winner of the Pee Bag "disposable in-car mini-toilets": Drawing D: Well, of course Tic Tacs are low in fat: They jump rope! (Jay Shuck, Minneapolis)

3.Drawing D: Paparazzi prove that Gene Simmons uses tongue extensions. (Ned Bent, Oak Hill)

4.Drawing E: A giant hot dog fails to hide behind a white picket fence. (Vic Krysko, Suratthani, Thailand)