ASK AMY
|
TOOLBOX
   Resize
COMMENT
 Discussion Policy
 CLOSE
Comments that include profanity or personal attacks or other inappropriate comments or material will be removed from the site. Additionally, entries that are unsigned or contain "signatures" by someone other than the actual author will be removed. Finally, we will take steps to block users who violate any of our posting standards, terms of use or privacy policies or any other policies governing this site. Please review the full rules governing commentaries and discussions. You are fully responsible for the content that you post.
Who's Blogging  |
DEAR AMY: My 19-year-old cousin graduated from high school this spring. She had a rough road through adolescence and a hard time with high school, but she finally graduated.
I am proud that she persevered. Her graduation party, however, was not a pleasant affair. She barely acknowledged her adult guests and left the party with her friends for a considerable amount of time to "take a walk."
What she really did was go to a park with her friends to get high.
Her mother, my aunt, not only condoned it, but was amused in relaying this news to guests at the party.
When the kids came back they were, of course, famished; inhaling all the food they could find, laughing, cursing and carrying on.
Again, her mother joked about them having "the munchies." I was disgusted by the behavior of both the parent and the child.
Should I speak to my aunt?
My gift to the graduate involved tickets to an event that I planned to take my cousin to. Now I don't even want to go with her.
Should I just give her the tickets to take someone else? -- Disappointed Cousin
DEAR DISAPPOINTED: It's pretty obvious why your cousin has struggled so much. It would be very challenging to rise above such neglectful parenting.
If you are close, you should raise this issue -- not to express your disgust, but rather your concern. Be prepared that whatever you say, it might have little impact.
What I love about your gift is that gifts such as yours -- gifts of experiences, rather than material goods -- give you and the recipient the opportunity to share something.
