A Summer's Worth of Sports Questions

Questions to ponder while wondering how long we have to wait for the Caps to come out with a Need for Swede poster.

What's one way for an American soccer fan to take comfort following Sunday's near miss against Brazil?

Well, we may not be tops in futbol, but we've still got the football thing covered. Saturday night in Canton, Ohio, the United States faced France in the football junior world championship, and it was like a keg of beer landing on a bottle of Bordeaux, like a 950-pound block of processed Kraft cheese being forcibly launched directly into a flowery delicate round of soft-ripening Camembert, like a fleet of Hummers driving over a trio of bike racers. The final score was 78-0, the Americans recorded 20 tackles for loss, and the total yards were 610-7. Stick that in your beautiful game, world.

How can one tell that John Kerry needs to go to more Nationals games?

The senator appeared never to have heard of the Presidents Race when he was interviewed by MASN's Debbi Taylor during the New England Infestation of '09 last week.

"Which race?" he asked Taylor.

"They have the presidents, with Teddy Roosevelt and the old-time presidents." She bravely attempted to explain.

"I haven't been able to take that in," the senator said. "No, I'm sorry. You know, too busy with some of our own real races."

Ha ha, that's rich. What's that, you have a big wall in Boston? No, I'm sorry, I haven't been able to take that in. Too busy with some of our own Jersey barriers.

Have Gilbert Arenas's Wizards teammates always considered him quirky?

Not necessarily.

"I really didn't see it," said former teammate Chris Whitney, the only man to share a D.C. back court with Rod Strickland, Michael Jordan and Arenas. "I think when he got here he was very, very young. You know, he bought some automobile, it wasn't a real car; that's the only thing I saw that was a little crazy. It was like a three-wheeled car-slash-motorcycle type thing. I remember we were downtown, and it broke down or something happened to it, and he just left it. But I didn't see any quirky things."

That's kind of quirky, I argued.

"Or it could be crazy," Whitney responded.

Speaking of Whitney, what's he up to?

Well, after he retired from the Bullets/Wizards as the last man to wear both jerseys and the franchise's career leader in three-pointers, Whitney retired to Fort Washington, didn't pick up a basketball for five years, and went into business with Jahidi White, forming a staffing company. He started playing again in March, and is thinking about trying to get back into the basketball business, saying, "If I did anything as far as basketball, I would be an asset."

Not coaching, though.

"See this, see that?" he said, pointing to both sides of his still-dark hair. "No gray. I like that."