Week 824: Jestinations

We've asked for mottoes and slogans for states and countries; now it's time to give a boost (emphasis on the "boo") to cities and towns. This week, give us a slogan for any city or town, as in the example in the cartoon. Don't go through the atlas and make puns on every unknown burg on the globe; we're not looking to run a list of puns, as we did for our contest for sports team names. For those who can't resist that urge, send us no more than your 25 best entries. This boost to our chambers of commerce was suggested by Kelley Bielewicz of Newark, Del., who recently got three blots of ink in her very first appearance on this page.

Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives the book "Punk Shui: Home Design for Anarchists," which at least semi-seriously includes such decorating tips as cutting your couch in half with a chain saw and letting the stuffing dribble out.

Other runners-up win a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or Loser Mug. Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Magnets. First Offenders get a smelly tree-shaped air "freshener" (Fir Stink for their First Ink). One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to losers@washpost.com or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, July 13. Put "Week 824" in the subject line of your e-mail or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published Aug. 1. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. This week's Honorable Mentions name is by Beverley Sharp; the revised title for next week's contest is by Mae Scanlan.

Report From Week 820, With Guest Judge Dave Barry

In which we asked you to write some questions and answers to and from Mister Language Person, the great grammarian who appeared in numerous Dave Barry columns back in the day when newspapers had ads and subscriptions and Dave Barry. As promised, Dave has chosen the winners from a list of finalists selected by the Empress, and he even comments on each of his top four.

The Winner of the Inker

Q. Please demonstrate how to use euphemisms.

A: Correct: "Our hamster Mr. Buttons became rabid, so we had to put him down."

Incorrect: "Our hamster Mr. Buttons became rabid, so we had to put him down the toilet." (Kevin Dopart, Washington)

Mister Language Person explains: This beautifully illustrates the First Principle of Humor, as defined by Aristotle: "It should have a hamster, and it should have a toilet."

The winner of the dress made from two Loser T-Shirts:

2. Q. What is a non sequitur?

A. I'll say! (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)

I picked this one because I love chocolate.