After a Big Night, Waking Up to Everyday Hurdles

One Year In

There was lot of anticipation leading up to Anika and Damon Prather's wedding in May 2008.

They'd waited a long time for that day, after all. Really waited -- both of the 35-year-olds had decided to forgo sex until marriage.

And after that momentous wedding night, the two left their newlywed suite to face even more consequential endeavors: making a home, building a marriage, learning the intricacies of each other's quirks and vulnerabilities.

The devout Christians knew it would be challenging: "Damon and I are very different," Anika admits. "We are night and day."

During one of several premarital counseling sessions with a pastor friend of Damon's, the pair, who met on eHarmony in 2007, were warned their differences had the potential to cause strife. Anika is a neatnik who likes to spend money; Damon is messy but vigilant about his finances.

And sure enough, the first week of their marriage, Anika came home from the grocery store with a trunk full of bags and a $300 bill -- twice what Damon was expecting.

"I'm like, 'Girl, we can't spend $1,000 a month on groceries! We'll be bankrupt by the end of the month,' " Damon recalls.

"But we'll be full, baby!" Anika shoots back, laughing at herself now from the living room of their Fort Washington home.

A few more outings like that and the two came to a conclusion: Damon would be in charge of the finances. "And see, that's hard. Someone might hear that and be like, 'She just lets the man handle all the money,' " says Anika, a music and literature teacher. "But it's not about that. . . . Finances are not my strength, so if you let me have control over it, we're gonna be jacked. I just had to be honest about that." (For his part, Damon, an engineer, ceded control of their new home's decor.)

Sex, they found, was not as big a deal in their relationship as either expected.

"It doesn't play the most important part in marriage," says Anika, who is animated and buoyant. "I will say it's a lot more pleasurable than I thought it would be. . . . Day One was a little interesting, but it's been an upward climb."

In the year they spent dating before marriage, there was a lot of time for talking. And that, they both think, spilled over in positive ways once they were wed. They still talk openly about their own creative endeavors -- Damon making music, Anika directing plays; about their points of disagreement; and about things that many other couples have trouble discussing, including sex.