Week 825: Disinstrumentals

Much of the greatest music ever written consists of the inspired crafting of purely instrumental sound, undiminished by distracting, often shallow lyrics.

Your turn.

This week: Write some words to music that has no words. It can be a pop instrumental, a movie or TV theme (if lyrics were written but they weren't sung on the air, good enough), the Olympic theme, a Sousa march, a well-known bit of classical music, or whatever will be fairly recognizable.

Winner receives the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place gets a special Taste Sensation three-pack: two cans of silkworm pupae (second picture in slideshow to the right) and one Kelp Crunch Energy Bar, all picked up at a Korean market by new Loser Mike Czuhajewski. If you accept this prize, you are required to tell us how it tastes.

Other runners-up win a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or Loser Mug. Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Magnets. First Offenders get a smelly tree-shaped air "freshener" (Fir Stink for their First Ink). One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to losers@washpost.com or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, July 20. Put "Week 825" in the subject line of your e-mail or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published Aug. 8. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. This week's Honorable Mentions name was submitted independently by Beverley Sharp and Mike Ostapiej; the revised title for next week's contest is by Beverley Sharp.

Report From Week 821

In which asked you to tell the similarity or difference between any two items on a list we supplied: We don't think anyone tried all 105 combinations of the 14 items, but some Losers must have come close. Too commonly offered but certainly to the point: The difference between six Somali pirates and one Somali pirate is five Navy SEALs.

The Winner of the Inker

A Buckingham Palace guard is like third base at Nationals Park: Just stands there and watches visitor after visitor go by. (Dan Ramish, Arlington)

2. the winner of Frozen Smiles, the denture-shaped ice cube molds: An elderly Labrador retriever is like 24 straight games of Tetris: Both are plausible reasons there's pee on the floor. (J. McCray, Hyattsville)

3. Maraschino cherries on a hamburger and third base at Nationals Park: You want to keep both of them 90 feet from the plate. (Barry Koch, Catlett, Va.)

4. Third base at Nationals Park and a Buckingham Palace guard: When the Royals are in town, they walk all over you. (Craig Dykstra, Centreville)

Beyond Compare: Honorable Mentions

The entire nation of Latvia and the 2012 presidential campaign: Latvia is wary of its proximity to Russia, while the presidential campaign is wary of its proximity to Rush. (Brian Cohen, Potomac)

An elderly Lab and a Buckingham Palace guard: You can blame either for a suspicious foul odor, and neither can defend himself. (G. Smith, New York)