CAROLYN HAX

(Nick Galifianakis for The Washington Post)

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By Carolyn Hax

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Adapted from a recent online discussion:

Dear Carolyn:

At my ex-boyfriend's insistence, he and his fiancee will be double-dating with me and my boyfriend this weekend. Our relationship went badly and ended worsely, and this is probably a bad idea but we're committed to it now. Any words of advice?

Yes. Don't go.

"Insistence" doesn't mean you have to do it, nor does agreeing to it mean you can't change your mind and cancel. It's a dinner date, not a blood oath.

I can see why this relationship ended badly; your power distribution with this guy is all off, and it still has you twisting yourself into someone you neither like nor respect. Call it off. Stand up for yourself.

Carolyn:

Sigh. Yes, yes, yes. But easier said than done. Sometimes even "just doing it" is paralyzingly difficult.

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