ASK AMY

If you're not willing to discuss this openly with your mother, then you can expect to see Fido when your mom visits.

DEAR AMY: My friend and I are concerned about our best friend. She is barely 15 and has her first boyfriend, whom she is obsessed with. She is so obsessed with him that we have only seen her once this summer, and that was at one of our birthday parties. Even then she talked to him on the phone several times.

When she came to my house, instead of watching a movie with us, she went upstairs and talked to him on the phone for several hours.

While we, her two best friends, have only seen her once all summer, he has been at her house several times every week.

We have been three best friends since 7th grade. We do not care that she hangs out with this guy, but we would really like her to make some time for us, too.

Without hurting her feelings, how can we tell her that she is replacing her two friends with one boy?--Missing Our Friend

DEAR MISSING: Talk to your friend about this. Don't worry about hurting her feelings--just tell her you miss her and say you're worried that she is putting too much energy into one relationship. Your friend is way too young to have such a serious romance; if there are aspects of this that worry you, please talk to your folks--or hers.

Unfortunately, sometimes girls seem to neglect their friendships when they get involved in a romantic relationship. Tell yourself that you won't do this--because at your age, your friendships are too fresh and too important to ignore.

DEAR AMY: I'm a married woman who had an affair with a married man.

I'd like to respond to "Curious Husband," who wanted to know why his wife would do intimate things with her lover that she would not do with him.

An affair is an illicit and temporary relationship in which the participants can be different people than they are in their daily lives: This includes trying different things and being more comfortable doing them.

I can tell you my husband would be shocked if I behaved with him the way I behaved with my lover. But I enjoyed every minute, and I am glad I got to be so free for a brief time.--Been There

DEAR BEEN THERE: It is a shame that you don't feel free to be yourself and try new things in your own marriage. If you learned nothing else from your affair, surely you could take this lesson back home.

(Send questions via e-mail to askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611. Amy Dickinson's memoir, "The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter and the Town that Raised Them" (Hyperion), is now available in bookstores.)

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