Carolyn Hax on Uninvited Wedding Guests

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

I'm getting married soon and the reception hall holds 150 people max. As such, we did not include "and guest" for any invitees that we know aren't involved with any specific person.

A few of these unattached people have RSVP'd for two, or, in one case, three: One person is bringing her cousin, another a friend from his office . . . people we didn't invite and have never met. Am I out of line thinking this is rude? Besides having to pay for a dinner for them, we simply don't have the room for random guests.

Did we commit a major faux pas by not including "and guest"? And, even if we did, how can we politely tell these people we do not have enough room?

These guests will know plenty of people at the wedding, so their "dates" aren't their only hope for companionship that evening.

Anonymous

Even if they'd be alone among strangers, they'd still have two polite choices: Go solo, or stay home.

Writing in guests is rude. Astonishing, really. So while it won't exactly be a fun conversation, you have every right to call and explain without apology that the limits on your reception hall mean you can't accommodate their write-ins. (Though you can say you're so terribly sorry, if it helps with the impact.)

You can also say that if you change your mind and hold it in a barn, then they and their uninvited guests will fit right in. But that's perhaps best reserved for when you're taking vows of misanthropy and friends won't be necessary.