'Dancing With the Stars' an Uphill Ride for Snowboarder Louie Vito

"I had zero ballroom dancing experience," Vito said of his life before he joined the show Aug. 21. "I do the wrong step, trip over her foot, stumble and lose my balance, thinking about steps, thinking about posture, thinking about what I'm doing next, thinking about how my hand is [positioned]. There are so many things you have to worry about."

He can't name his most difficult dance thus far because they've all been difficult, in different ways.

"With the salsa I have to learn how to roll my hips around" -- here he demonstrates, sort of -- "and do a little booty shakin'. And then the fox trot, you've gotta be smooth with the rise and fall and keep your posture up."

Although he admits dancing is helping him get in shape for the snowboarding season, Vito rejects the notion that anything about ballroom dancing will help him in snowboarding, mainly because of the posture issue.

"In snowboarding I'm hunched over; I'm allowed to do whatever I want," he said. "In fox trot you've got to have your shoulders back, your head up, little things like that that you don't have to think about that's really hard."

Vito won't be the first or last "DWTS" contestant to sport tattoos, although I'm guessing Tom DeLay and Donny Osmond, two of this year's competitors, won't be among that group. (Yes, that Tom DeLay and that Donny Osmond. I know. Take a moment.) Vito has two, both on his left arm: "Vito family," in Italian, on the inside of his bicep, and St. Christopher, which covers the entire inside of his lower arm. He wears a double ring on the ring and middle fingers of his left hand, white gold covered in diamonds. He won't wear that one on the show.

If he does well on "DWTS" -- or even if he doesn't -- he might reward himself with some jewelry. "That's my thing, white gold," he said. And if he does well, he'll largely have Hightower to thank. Vito said that, when the competition is over, he would like to switch places with Hightower and teach her his sport.

"I would love to do that," he said. "There's plenty of times where I just can't understand why I can't get it. She's telling me what to do; she's the boss, I have to listen to her. I'd like to take her into my element and then me tell her what to do. Snowboarding is a little less formal, so it's probably going to be a little more relaxed. But I'd definitely like to take her into my world and show her what I do on a daily basis."

But first comes the dancing, beginning Monday night at 8 p.m. So listen, flip channels during the "Monday Night Football" commercials, or use the DVR -- my weapon of choice, to ensure I never have to see Tom DeLay in a skin-tight anything -- and check out Louie Vito. One way or another, he'll put on a show.