Mother Bears Scars Of Grief in Limelight She Never Wanted

She makes herself do it.

Judy Shepard doesn't enjoy talking in front of people, living a public life, giving speeches.

"Speech class was my worst nightmare," she said.

If only that were still true.

Eleven years ago, on Oct. 12, 1998, Shepard's first-born son, Matt -- "not Matthew, he was Matt" -- was beaten to death in Laramie, Wyo.

"This is my survival; this is how I deal with losing Matt," she told students this week at South Lakes High School in Reston.

She is the epitome of the grieving, activist parent. They are moms, in their comfortable shoes and wash-and-wear hair, or dads in their chinos and dinners-at-the-Elks-lodge shirts who are suddenly thrust before a microphone and cameras and known across the world.

For parents like me, they are riveting to watch.

Most of the kids listening to Shepard were in preschool when Matt was left to die, tied to a prairie fence after being beaten and robbed because he was gay.

"I looked Matt up online," one student told Shepard.

The school has a Gay-Straight Alliance that is vibrant and diverse. Two girls holding hands walked past us in the hallway.

And although hatred and intolerance surely exist, the students I talked to said the mood is pretty cool these days on matters of sexual orientation at South Lakes High.