Petula Dvorak: Don't forsake homeless in gay nuptials fight

Although it won't be forced to perform same-sex marriages or make space for such ceremonies if the marriage bill passes, the Church would have to abide by city laws. In this case, that would mean extending employee benefits to same-sex married couples.

"If the city requires this, we can't do it," Susan Gibbs, spokeswoman for the archdiocese, told our reporters Wednesday. "The city is saying in order to provide social services, you need to be secular. For us, that's really a problem."

The problem is that taking a stand like this goes against the mission of the Church and the important lessons it has taught millions of followers.

I'm not going to make this an argument in favor of same-sex marriage. Anyone who opposes such basic civil rights will find themselves on the wrong side of history. It's a civil rights issue, and I believe the argument should end right there.

But in this case, the message the Church is sending with its actions is wrong, and it has left me and countless other Catholics heartbroken.

I am not much of a churchgoer these days. But I will always hold dear the lessons I learned from the Church I attended in my younger days.

When Father Joe went bicycling and skiing with us, he taught us to love and respect the Earth. Father Grace, with his white hair and an Irish accent so hard the younger kids in catechism called him "The Big Leprechaun," was stern enough to make me think twice before sweating through another confession where I had to admit all the terrible things I had done to my little brother the week before.

But he was gentle in reminding us of the simple rules of forgiveness, love, tolerance and charity.

When I was about to snark about the folks coming for help at the church food bank, the priests told me not to judge, only to help. When I smugly pointed out the inappropriate wrap shorts someone wore to Mass one summer day, someone told me, "She is here at church; judge her no further."

I'll even thank the choir director, who told me it was very important that I sing "pianissimo" during Mass, because she taught me that someone as tone deaf as I should never attempt karaoke. Thank God for her, too.

In that awful rain Thursday, I talked to Eric Seegars, who is 47 and living in a family shelter on the old D.C. General Hospital campus. There is nothing pianissimo about the way he feels and expresses himself.

His wife, twin 8-year-olds and 15-year-old have been there for three months. The neighboring shelter is a women's place run by Catholic Charities, and they know the people who stay there.

"Where will all those people go?" Seegars asked. "They can't put people on the street."

I just pray he's right.

E-mail me at dvorakp@washpost.com