Norman Chad: Notre Dame attempts to wake up the retreads in its coaching search

Notre Dame is looking for a football coach. This is the third-most important job in America, behind president and Ryan Seacrest. Because of my many ties to the Notre Dame community, university officials have asked me to help in the search for the next Gerry Faust. Here is an overview of the top candidates:

Bob Stoops: He has said, "I'm going to be at Oklahoma next year," which means either (a) he won't be at Oklahoma next year or (b) Notre Dame is moving its campus to Norman.

Tyrone Willingham: Charlie Weis was 35-27 at Notre Dame, Willingham was 21-15. And Willingham was cheaper!

Bob Davie: Charlie Weis was 35-27 at Notre Dame; Davie was 35-25. And Davie was cheaper!

Lou Holtz: He predicted the Fighting Irish would win the Bowl Championship Series title this season, so at least he aims high.

George W. Bush: His Texas ties give him a solid football background; his Yale and Harvard ties give him a solid academic background. Probably would seek an eight-year deal.

Matt Millen: He's never coached before, but I have a hunch he can put together a winning program.

Ara Parseghian: He was 95-17-4 at Notre Dame and, now, after 35 years of R-and-R, I'd bet he's ready to come back if someone in South Bend is smart enough to drop a dime on him.

(Column Intermission I: I hate to debunk the legend of Knute Rockne, but facts are facts. Everyone reveres Rockne's 105-12-5 record at Notre Dame from 1918 to 1930. Yet in the 12 years before Rockne's arrival, five coaches compiled a 78-8-6 mark in South Bend. Heck, Red Klotz would've gone 9-1 with those teams back then.)

Jon Gruden: Loophole in his ESPN contract would allow him to take Notre Dame job and continue on "Monday Night Football."

Digger Phelps: During his 20 seasons as basketball coach in South Bend, I don't think he ever lost to USC or Navy.

Oprah Winfrey: South Bend would have to wait until her final show airs in 2011, but she's a proven moneymaker and everything she touches turns to gold.