Best Man Rigs Newlyweds' Bed To Tweet During Sex. Not Kidding.
Saturday, December 12, 2009; 6:54 PM
When a man in the UK was asked to be the best man at his friend's wedding, he was touched. So touched, that he promised not to pull any pranks before or during the wedding. After the wedding though, that's another story.
This man, who is choosing to stay anonymous, has set up this Twitter account for the sole purpose of automatically tweeting when the newlyweds are having sex. I'm not kidding. Read the entire tweet stream from the bottom up if you want the full story. But basically, this guy was watching his friend's house while they went on their honeymoon and he placed a device under their mattress. This device, which is similar to the one found here, is a pressure-sensitive pad that tweets out when sexual activity starts, when it ends, the force of the "action," and a "frenzy" rating.
December 9 saw the first such action. This is the first report:
They?re on the job! #1 ¿ Action commenced at 12.21GMT. Weight: 84KG.
And then it was over ? 3 minutes later:
They?re off the job! #1 ? Action concluded at 12.24GMT. Duration: 3 m.15 s. Frenzy Index: 8 (scary). Judge?s Comment: "Is that it?"
They?re on the job! #2 ¿ Action commenced at 15.50GMT. Weight: 151KG.
22 minutes later:
They?re off the job! #2 ? Action concluded at 16.12GMT. Duration: 22 m.05 s. Frenzy Index: 4 (easy listening). Judge?s Comment: "Good work!"
Before everyone goes crazy over this, remember that all of this is being done anonymously. Neither the friend nor the couple are known. In fact, who knows if this is even real, and who cares, it's hilarious. Still, the man claims he will let his friend in on the fun soon. "What you will NEVER know is who they are. Or who I am.I figure I?ll tell my mate in due course that he?s had an audience.So spread the word!," writes the anonymous man. Consider it spread.
So why's he doing this? "BTW ¿ he stitched me up something rotten when he was my best man so I reckon this is reasonable payback ," he tweets.
Oh Twitter, the joys never end. What will they think of next?