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Week 852: Small, Let's get -- Backward rhopalic sentences
This week's results are for rhopalic sentences, ones in which each successive word is one letter longer. Predictably, a lot of people found it hard to write a rhopalic sentence in something approaching natural English syntax, let alone make it funny and clever as well. And just as predictably, a number of Losers took right to this contest. So, by perhaps unpopular request, we'll do it again, backwards and in high heels:
This week: Write a rhopalic sentence (or fanciful newspaper headline) in which each successive word is one letter shorter. Hyphenated words or phrases may count as one word or more.
Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a necktie depicting some sculpture by a guy named Rodin that looks exactly like the Inker except that it is missing the paper bag over its head. From Beverley Sharp of Washington, who happens to own five Inkers but does not tend to wear neckties.
Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug. Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Loser Magnets. First Offenders get a smelly tree-shaped air "freshener" (Fir Stink for their First Ink). One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to email@example.com or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Jan. 25. Put "Week 852" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published Feb. 13. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. The revised title for next week's results and this week's honorable-mentions subhead are both by Craig Dykstra.
Report from Week 848
In which we asked for rhopalic sentences, ones in which each successive word is one letter longer. The question arose online on The Style Conversational soon after the contest was announced: Do hyphenated words count as one word or two? The Empress, with uncharacteristic leniency, ruled: either.
The winner of the Inker
I do fun, cool stuff mostly: noogies, pantsing, spitballs, shoe-lacing, hand-buzzers, elbow-farting, towel-snapping, nipple-twisting, flower-squirting . . . -- G.W. Bush, Dallas (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)
2. the winner of the three lollipops with various critters embedded in them:
Dogs NEVER wonder whether burglars underwent mitigating, exculpating, early-boyhood, gender-related disappointment. (Beverley Sharp, Washington)
3. Go out(,) West, urged Taylor swiftly. (Kevin Dopart, Washington)
4. My bra fits lower, dammit, because gravity's heartless. (Lois Douthitt, Arlington)
Stretching it: Honorable mentions
We are agog after Tiger's wrecked Cadillac discloses infidelity, triple-bogey extramarital relationships. (Chris Doyle)
The weak vegan senses: Sauteed reindeer satisfies completely! (Jeff Brechlin, Eagan, Minn.)