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His true calling: And we didn't even know Gene Weingarten could count to 800

Below the Beltway
(Eric Shansby)
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Karen: WAHR-sester-shirr.

Me: Oh, we know that. It's the second word we're debating.

Karen: You mean "sauce"?

Me: Yeah. It's not "sowse"?

***

Giant mini marshmallows

Me: I have a great marketing idea for your company. I see you're in Landover, Maryland.

Dee: Uh-huh.

Me: Well, the only other thing in Landover is the Redskins, the giant patsies of the NFL. They play like elderly women. Are you seeing what I am saying here?

Dee: No.

Me: I see a billboard with a picture of one of your marshmallows and next to it a picture of a Redskins player, with his face ground into the turf and his butt in the air, and the caption would say, "Landover Marshmallows." And under the marshmallow, it would say, "We're SUPPOSED to be soft and squishy."

Dee:

Me: Hello?

Dee:

Me: Okay, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking the Redskins would sue. Don't worry about it, they'll lose! It's what they do!


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