With a name like iPad, can Apple's new device possibly have wings?

By Monica Hesse
Washington Post Staff Writer
Thursday, January 28, 2010

After months of speculation over what Apple would call its latest sacred touch-screen device (iSlate? iTablet?), the company revealed Tuesday that it had opted to go with iPad.

Boyfriends everywhere promptly refuse to purchase it unless they could simultaneously buy some really manly products, like shaving cream and batteries.

Are You There God? It's Me, Steve Jobs.

Business Insider declared the name "terrible," with one columnist writing that he'd heard rumors of the name "but dismissed it immediately," thinking that Apple would have the foresight to predict a landslide of menstruation mockery. (Did they not see "MADtv's" iPad parody in 2007?)

Meanwhile, the blogosphere found the name debate totally absorbing -- "How will it stand up to other tablets if I pour a test tube full of blue water on it?" one Lemondrop blogger wondered -- and a heavy flow of iPad-related Twitter traffic led "iTampon" to become a top trending topic.

"Are there NO women in the Marketing or Biz Dev department of Mac?" wrote one user, speculating that "iPad" would pass muster only with a man. No women were present on Apple's panel at the San Francisco announcement.

Apple, for its part, heralded the iPad as "a magical and revolutionary device" on its Web site, and did not return a phone call for comment.

This is not the first time that a widely anticipated product launch was met with ridicule. Nintendo's Wii was referred to as "Wee" by disparaging gamers who could not get stoked about a console that sounded like a potty-training term. The Wii went on to break retail records, selling 600,000 units in its first eight days.

However, Apple has yet to address what women everywhere anticipate will obviously be the iPad's biggest problem: You can't use one while swimming.

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