Feb. 7

DoubleX: Saying 'I don't' to tradition

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Which wedding tradition do you wish to be abolished? Contributors to DoubleX, a Web site that focuses on women's issues, weigh in.

Hanna Rosin: I would definitely say the throwing of the bouquet. In the last few weddings I've been to -- even the ones for more conservative friends -- there is a strong ambivalence hanging over this moment. The ladies gather shame faced in the corner and the bride gives a limp, embarrassed toss. In each case the flowers landed on the floor, as the women were too embarrassed to catch them. The age when women want to get married is not over. But the age when women proudly display a grasping eagerness to do so is long past.

Jenny Rogers: I'd abolish wedding favors. Pointless and expensive. No one needs a little box of chocolates with the couple's name on it.

Nina Rastogi: Extensive hors d'oeuvre spreads followed by massive, plated meals. Your guests just feel guilty about the wasted food, and then they're too bloated to dance.

Tori Bosch: I'm at the point in life where my refrigerator is cluttered with "save the date" magnets and I seem to attend a wedding ever six weeks, so I've spent a lot of time recently considering what traditions are archaic but sweet and what are just wasteful. The one I hate most is a relatively new invention: the unity candle. It's meant to symbolize the joining of two families, but isn't that what the wedding itself is? Really, these elaborate, pricey candles just add to the cost of the event and make the ceremony longer.

Lauren Bans: First and foremost, I'd equalize the division of pre-wedding labor-- no one should have to give up her life for a year to plan an entire wedding by herself. Then, of course, bad DJs.

June Thomas: The disposable cameras scattered around for spontaneous art shots. True, this is the least offensive and potentially most creative of the wedding "bits," but are the resulting photos ever more than drunken shots of guests' junk?

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