After a first date, how long should you wait before calling?

(illustration by Monika Melnychuck)
  Enlarge Photo    
Friday, February 12, 2010

"The only time I think you should sit back and let a guy make the first move is after the first date, because that is going to tell you if he's interested. Men should be texting you as you're walking into your house. Or he's closing you at the door, saying, 'I had a great time. When can I see you again?' If it's taking him a couple of days, then he might be lukewarm about you. If he doesn't contact you, take the hint."

-- Jess McCann, Falls Church-based dating coach and author of "You Lost Him at Hello: A Saleswoman's Secrets to Closing the Deal With Any Guy You Want"

"I always tell the women, when they go out on a nice date with a gentleman, that they should follow up afterward and call and thank them. It could be a voice mail. It could be a text. It's just the courteous and appropriate thing to do. Even if the women aren't really interested in a second date with a man, I find that the men are really touched -- they're actually impressed."

"I find that if a man really likes a woman, and they had a great date, there's no harm in reaching out to her the next day. I don't think anybody should be keeping score. Men hate it when they reach out to a woman to schedule a date, and three days later, she calls him back. There should be some manners with that: A simple voice mail takes 30 seconds. I have some 20-something clients: The gentleman leaves her a message and she texts him back, then he texts her, and it goes on for a week. I'll pick up the phone and tell both of them, 'You need to pick up the phone, find out their schedule and schedule a date.' "

-- Christie Nightingale, owner of Premier Match matchmaking service, based on Capitol Hill

© 2010 The Washington Post Company