Style Invitational Week 862: Make up a team cheer; plus totally bogus definitions of obscure words

(Bob Staake for The Washington Post)
By The Empress
Saturday, March 27, 2010

Loser Ben Aronin wrote the Empress last month, noting that "I've been watching the Olympics and hearing such rousing cheers as 'Let's go, Canada!' I think that they (or we) could do better."

This week: Send us a cheer or fight song for any pro sports team (you can use the team name or the city name) or any national team. (Assume that fans of foreign teams cheer in English.)

Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place gets a genuine Vancouver 2010 magnet featuring the mascot Sumi the animal spirit, donated by Genuine Vancouver Loser Sylvia Betts, plus a container of Flarp Noise Putty ("Makes Awful Noises! Disgusting! Great Fun!") discourtesy of Loser Dave Prevar of Annapolis.

Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug. Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Loser Magnets. First Offenders get a smelly tree-shaped air "freshener" (Fir Stink for their First Ink). One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, April 12. Put "Week 862" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results to be published April 24. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. The revised title for next week's results is by Larry Yungk; this week's honorable-mentions subhead is by Pam Sweeney.

Report from Week 858

in which we offered a list of very obscure words from the Oxford English Dictionary and asked you to produce fictional definitions for them. The real meanings -- or one meaning per word -- are listed here.

The winner of the Inker: Governail (actually a rudder): Pontius Pilate. (Mike Gips, Bethesda)

2. the winner of the book "The World's Worst: A Guide to the Most Disgusting, Hideous, Inept, and Dangerous People, Places, and Things on Earth": Effray: The invisible beam of pure malice emitted by a raised middle finger. (Andrea Kelly, Brookeville)

3 Exossation: Deterioration of the spine that often occurs following a wedding ceremony. (Kyle Hendrickson, Frederick)

4. Exerce: Minimal activity logged as a workout: "As I sat in the tub, I got some exerce by fighting the current as the bathwater drained." (Drew Bennett, West Plains, Mo.)

Lexicontaminations: Honorable mentions

Ebulum: That stuff left on the beach after the tide recedes. (Edmund Conti, Raleigh, N.C.)

Ebulum: A single particle of ebullience. "His last ebulum disintegrated when the pretty woman replied, 'Yes, I'd love to dance -- do you know anyone?' " (Michael Reinemer, Annandale)

Ebulum: Oatmeal that dribbles back out of a baby's mouth. (Michael Anderson, Billings, Mont.)

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