Style Invitational Week 863: It's post time -- our famous 'breed the horses' contest
Tiny Woods x Pleasant Prince = Tiger's Cub Scout
Dublin x Odysseus = Bloomsday
Alcindor x Bravo Whiskey = Abdul-TheBar
One of our oldest and most ridiculously popular contests: Below is a list of 100 of the almost 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races. This week: "Breed" any two of them and name the "foal," as in the examples above. Your personal stable of entries cannot exceed 25. As in real life, the names cannot be longer than 18 characters, including spaces and symbols.
Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place gets a pretty little build-your-own Stonehenge kit that produces a monument way smaller than Spinal Tap size. If you have a large hand, you could set it up in your palm. Donated by Russell Beland as a sacrifice to the Gods of The Style Invitational.
Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug. Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Loser Magnets. First Offenders get a smelly tree-shaped air "freshener" (Fir Stink for their First Ink). One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to email@example.com or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, April 12. Put "Week 863" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results to be published Derby Day, May 1. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. The revised title for next week's results is by Tom Witte; this week's honorable-mentions subhead is by Kevin Dopart. The list of horses is taken from the full one at BloodHorse.com.
A Little Warm
Ace of Aces
Bulls and Bears
Catch Twenty Two
Close to the Edge
Down With Dixie
Get a Grip
Hear Ye Hear Ye
In the Paint
Launch N Relaunch
Leaving New York
Lookin at Lucky
Make Music for Me
Party at My Place
She Be Wild
Walking the Beach
Worth a Buck
Wow Wow Wow
Report from Week 859
in which we asked you to tell us jokes in any of four given forms: "If they can ___, why can't they ___?"; "You can ___, but you can't ___"; "It's not the ___, it's the ___"; or "If you ___, they will ___."
The winner of the Inker
If they can train puppies to use the newspaper, why can't they train yuppies to use the newspaper? (Beverley Sharp, Washington)
2. the winner of the Loser key chain custom-made in Thailand: You can rest in a courtroom, but you can't court in a restroom. -- L. Craig (John Glenn, Tyler, Tex.)
3. You can love your fellow man in Virginia, but you can't send out invitations. (Larry Yungk, Arlington)
4.If they can create a thin, pocket-size, touch-screen-enabled e-mailer/Internet browser/game machine/organizer/cellphone, why can't they create a cancel button in an elevator? (Ari Unikoski, Tel Aviv)