Lee DeWyze beats Crystal Bowersox on 'American Idol' in Simon Cowell's farewell
Texting tweener chicks and perimenopausal women, having not yet slaked their thirst for Super-Safe Rocker Boys, added Lee DeWyze to the list of "American Idol" winners Wednesday night, beating early front-runner Crystal Bowersox of the dreadlocks and comb microphone-stand/bong.
In a surprise to absolutely no one -- except Lee, who was apparently the only person who had not expected a DeWyze walkover -- the part-time paint salesman from Mount Prospect, Ill., became the franchise's third consecutive Super-Safe Kinda Beige Rocker Boy winner. DeWyze follows the super-safe Kris Allen who, similarly, in 2009 beat the spectacularly talented but ultra-polarizing guy-linered Adam Lambert, and 2008's super-safe David Cook, who beat out the spectacularly talented but creepily dad-dominated David Archuleta.
Weirdly, tweener girls and middle-aged women seem to love to vote for these super-safe guys -- they just don't buy their albums or download their tunes much.
These days, Allen is probably best known as the star of the Ford Fusion commercials that ran during "Idol" broadcasts:
In my old car, I had CDs all over the place.
In this car, if I want to play a CD, I push it in and I record it.
The music is IN THE CAR, you know, forever now.
And Cook? So far as we can tell, he, too, is pretty buzz-free.
That's in marked contrast to most of the "Idol"-winning chicks who have become bona fide stars, such as Season 1 winner Kelly Clarkson and Season 4 victor Carrie Underwood. The most successful male Idolette to date, Chris Daughtry, was booted out with three rounds to go the same year that viewers picked Taylor Hicks to be that year's "Idol" winner.
For the first time on an "Idol" season finale, host Ryan Seacrest did not say how many votes were cast by viewers Wednesday night. Last year, he boasted of nearly 100 million votes.
That is in keeping with the slow fade that is generally conceded to have been "Idol's" most lackluster season ever -- including the smallest audience since the show's first (summer) season for this past Tuesday's performance show.
Blame has been spewed in many directions since the show's ninth season debuted in January -- one day after Simon Cowell, the face of the franchise, announced that he was leaving to free himself up to launch his "Idol" knockoff show, "The X Factor," in fall 2011. "Idol" immediately began to falter.