'Don't ask, don't tell' law's expected repeal creates strange state of limbo

"Will someone be able to teach a Bible study in which they say homosexuality is immoral?" asked retired Brig. Gen. Douglas E. Lee, who left the military in late 2008. "I think there is a high probability that it could be challenged."

If that was to happen, some denominations could pull their chaplain endorsements, forcing religious leaders to choose between their military service and their faith, said Lee, who represents six conservative Presbyterian denominations that provide chaplain endorsements.

Other serving military chaplains expressed confidence that they could manage the potential conflict between their faith and the federal government. "Will there be some pressures? Absolutely," said Col. David Moran, who oversees chaplain training for the Army. "But when chaplains come to the military they realize they are not joining a traditional congregation where everyone's beliefs are the same."

Moran, who is endorsed by the conservative Church of God, recently received guidance from his denomination declaring that homosexuality is a sin. But he said his church's policy wouldn't prevent him from serving and preaching in a military with openly gay soldiers. "We realize that as chaplains we have to be sensitive to our audience and the context in which we are speaking," he said. "Chaplains have always been prudent enough to manage this."

For some gay soldiers, the current debate surrounding "don't ask, don't tell" has proved tough to manage emotionally. The Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, which provides legal representation to gay members of the military, said it has seen a spike in calls to its hotline in recent months. Troops, the group says, are seeking legal advice and a forum to vent frustration.

The soldier facing an investigation in Baghdad said he came out to a few of his comrades in mid-March, about six weeks after Adm. Mike Mullen, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, condemned the current policy for forcing troops to lie about their sexual orientation.

At the time, the soldier and his fellow field artillery soldiers were at Camp Victory, just outside Baghdad, debating politics, the "tea party" movement and "don't ask, don't tell."

"The conversation kept building, and I felt the voice inside of me screaming. If from that conversation it was not noticeable that I was gay, they were crazy," he recalled in a blog that he started this year to protest the law.

"I am gay," he recalled saying loudly.

After coming out to his fellow soldiers, he said he felt energized. "I was on the verge of tears and laughter," he wrote. "I felt those same emotions that ran through my head as a teenager following the coming out to my parents."

The next day he was told that he was being investigated. "The other day I felt honorable," he wrote in his blog post. "Today I feel like a . . . criminal. I am tired. After serving this country for three years in two deployments I am no longer a soldier. I am now a prisoner."

Although the soldier has been told that he will be allowed to finish his Iraq deployment, his fate remains unclear. In the interview, he said he's worried that his command will restart the investigation when his unit finishes its tour.

"My biggest fear," he said, "is what happens when we are at home and they don't really need me any more."