Below the Beltway

Gene's four-ring circus: Bring in the clown

Below the Beltway
(Eric Shansby)
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By Gene Weingarten
Sunday, August 1, 2010

Another installment in my Pulitzer-Prize-winning coverage of the plight of the beleaguered customer service representative.

Oral-B dental floss

Me: I like your product very much and admire its tensile strength. I was wondering how many feet of floss there are in each pack.

Paul: Let me check. (Checks.) It's 55 yards.

Me: Wow! That's 10 stories! That's more than enough! So, I was just wondering how many strands of it you'd have to braid together to support the weight of a 6-foot-tall man of muscular build.

Paul: I have no idea, but I think maybe 10 or 15. It's pretty strong stuff and kind of braided already.

Me: Okay, great!

Paul: Uh, why would you ... ?

Me: See, I have this friend, currently incarcerated. Hypothetically, he might need to lower himself from a great height.


Me: So, Oral B recommends 10 or 15 packages, then, for this application of your product?


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