Please note: The Style Invitational has moved to a new page here.
Week 881: What's in a name -- find hidden "messages"; and readers' 2-line poems on the news
Redskin Albert Haynesworth, tackle from Tennessee:
Bet he's worthless.
Stefani Germanotta, a.k.a. Lady Gaga:
"A man??!!" "OK, a gag."
Here's a contest that two Losers recollected recently from when we did it back in 1999: Howard Walderman recounting the week that a record four of his entries were printed, and Chris Doyle griping that a similar earlier contest wasn't as good as this one.
It's certainly time to do it again, since we have another decade's worth of people to make fun of: Take the name of a person or institution. Find within it a hidden message, as in the examples above. You may add spacing and punctuation, but you may not move letters around: The hidden message must be found by pulling out letters and using them in the same order they appear in the original name. You may add titles or other identifiers to the name, but don't go wildly overboard; the first example here is pushing the length limit.
Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a deluxe 12-piece set of Frogmen vs. Radioactive Octopus, which sounds better than it looks, even if it does glow in the dark. Donated by Occasional Loser Dan Steinberg.
Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug. Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Loser Magnets. First Offenders get a smelly, tree-shaped air "freshener" (Fir Stink for their First Ink). One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Aug. 16. Put "Week 881" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results to be published Sept. 4. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. The revised title for next week's results is by Jeff Contompasis; this week's honorable-mentions subhead is by Phil Frankenfeld.
Report from Week 877
in which we asked for rhyming couplets on your choice of current events:
The winner of the Inker
Well, first he got lost, and he then had a crash, and I'm lucky to be a survivor.
Amazing how well the impostor resembled our regular Metrobus driver! (Brendan Beary, Great Mills)
2.the winner of the book "Are You a Miserable Old Bastard?":