Senate vote could go a long way toward ending gay bias in military

It's not unheard of for couples to buy more house than they need, but they don't generally do it to fool Uncle Sam.

Yet that was the case when Lynn P. and her wife, Susan, purchased their home. They didn't need the three bedrooms, except to maintain the pretense that they were roommates instead of married.

Susan is in the military reserves. It's against the law to be openly gay in the military, so they, and others in this column, don't want their full names and other identifying information revealed. They've got enough headaches already.

At some point, this legalized discrimination and totally counterproductive method of operation will change. A big step in that direction could come Tuesday if the Senate votes on legislation that would lead to repeal of the crazy "don't ask, don't tell" policy that means it's okay to be gay in the military as long as you stay in the closet.

The House approved repeal in May.

Sen. John McCain (Ariz.), the top Republican on the Armed Services Committee, said last week that he opposes "taking legislative action prior to the completion of a real and thorough review of the law. A complete survey to evaluate the impact of repeal on the men and women serving in our military should be concluded before moving forward."

The impact on gays in the military and their partners also is worth noting.

Having an unneeded bedroom, complete with dresser, nightstand and books, in case nosy military officials come snooping, is one way to hide who you are. Lynn said officials did just that when Susan filed a sexual harassment charge and the accused man told investigators that she was gay. Only in a sexist society, both in terms of gender and orientation, would the victim become the investigated in this way.

Lynn and other spouses and partners of same-sex service members told stories like these to Pentagon officials last week, as part of the Defense Department study on how a change in law and policy would be implemented. "These were internal discussions and information obtained from the meeting will be considered in the final report the working group will submit to the secretary of defense on Dec. 1," said Cynthia O. Smith, a Defense spokeswoman.

Lynn cites "the isolation and invisibility" she feels. "It's really quite demeaning to be married and to be so hidden," she said.

Yet the requirements of life have a way of prying the closet door open, even if just a little, putting Susan's secret at risk.

The couple has a daughter. Susan, following DOD requirements, reported her dependent and provided a copy of the child's birth certificate. It lists Lynn's and Susan's names, female names, providing a strong clue that the girl has a mommy and a mama instead of a mommy and a daddy.