Dribbling on: More "dr-" limericks from Style Invitational Week 882
More honorable-mention limericks from Week 882, a contest seeking limericks featuring words beginning with dr-:
My drosophila photo you buy
Has a pixel count terribly high
I will mail it compressed,
So to view it, you'd best
Have a tool for un-Zipping my fly. (Craig Dykstra, Centreville)
Planned a party as big as they get;
Went in hock for a band and Joan Jett.
Sent out invites -- a ton.
The replies? Not a one!
Now I'm dreading a fête worse than debt. (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Texas)
When the queen bee insists that they date,
The drones try to pass, citing fate:
"While we'd love to have sex,
We know we'll be wrecks
Since you rip out our organs to mate." (Jane Auerbach, Los Angeles)
Some married men can't help but drool
When a hottie walks by at the pool.
The must tell their mate, "Deah,
I've got sialorrhea"
And just hope that the wife plays the fool. (Edmund Conti, Raleigh, N.C.)
For your boy, who consoled you, a dreidel.
For your mom, who made soup, a new leidel.
For your husband who swore
He'd stop seeing that whore,
What'll even the score? A greneidel! (Chris Doyle)
There's romance with singing and crying;
There's fighting and scheming and dying --
My day's full of drama
Till my wife or my mama
Gets home, flips the channel, starts buying. (Kannan Thiruvengadam, Boston)
The twin playmates whom I'm double-teaming
With their passionate moaning and screaming
Could have woken the dead,
But they woke me instead --
Not surprisingly, I was just dreaming. (Craig Dykstra)
Fifty channels, and none of them free.
So you'd think there'd be something to see
But alas it's such crap,
I prefer a good nap.
Apropos that it's called DreckTV. (Craig Dykstra)
There once was a debutante's Dr.
Who'd rest not until he'd defr.
For her honor's safe guard
She did try (but not hard),
It was what she'd been missing that sho. (Doug Harris, Stockton-on-Tees, England)