Date Lab: So, are you a thinker or a feeler?

Date Lab
Sunday, October 10, 2010

7:30 p.m., Agora, Dupont Circle

Malcolm: I got there at 7:15 and asked to be seated. I sat in a corner and started to get a little nervous. I haven't done a lot of dating. Logan got there a little before 7:30. They brought her to the table. I stood up, and we shook hands. I thought she was attractive. She had a nice body shape and smile.

Logan: I walked in, and he was already there. I thought he was a decent-looking guy, but I usually go for more athletic-looking guys. We got to talking pretty quickly.

Malcolm: We looked at the menu. I'm vegetarian, but she's not. She's okay with that. I told her I was okay with it if she ordered meat. As long as you're aware of the impact of your choices and can rationalize them, I'm okay with that. There's no ethical justification for eating meat, but I understand people eat it because it tastes good and for traditional reasons. She ordered vegetarian, and we shared.

Logan: We got a bottle of wine and ordered five or six tapas. I eat meat sometimes if I know where it's sourced. He seemed very adamant about it. It was the one thing we didn't agree on.

Malcolm: We both did environmental studies in college. We both want to do something that has a positive effect on the world. She's more into the research side of things, and I'm more into the advocacy side of things.

Logan: He works for an advocacy organization that works for light rail. I learned a lot about transportation issues in the U.S. We talked a lot about how the U.S. is a car-focused culture. He takes a lot of trips on trains. He took a trip from here to Arizona. I thought that was really interesting, very European.

Malcolm: We were finishing with the main course and were thinking about dessert. She kind of led to the Myers-Briggs test. I did take it back in senior year of college. It's a good way to know where people are coming from. We're similar. I'm INTJ [introversion, intuition, thinking, judgment], and she's INFJ [introversion, intuition, feeling, judgment].

Logan: I am just fascinated by it. I use it as a way to sum up people pretty quickly. I brought it up to see if I was right. I could tell he was a thinking type because of the way he talked about his job. He's really focused on facts and content and logic. He likes big-picture ideas, which usually is a sign that someone's intuitive.

Malcolm: When we were talking about it, I revealed that I was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome. I wasn't expecting it to go in that direction. When it did, it didn't seem strange or uncomfortable. I'm only comfortable talking about that with certain people.

Logan: I kind of had a sense that something like that was going on. I know a few people who have it, and his behavior fit. It's characterized by people who are super-smart but not as good at reading people. I thought it was incredible that he shared it with me. I already really respected him and thought he was super-smart. I didn't want to pressure him to talk about it, so we left it at that.

Malcolm: We had dessert and left around 9:30. We walked together to 14th Street, which is on her way home and where I was going to catch the bus.

Logan: He handed me his card and said, "If you want to get together sometime, let me know." I said, "It was nice to meet you," and I gave him a hug. I'm going to wait a week or so and drop him an e-mail. He's involved in a lot of cool stuff, and we had a lot in common.

Malcolm: I'd give the date a 4 [out of 5]. I felt like we understood each other. We had a lot in common. [But] it felt like friends. I don't really know what a date feels like, but it felt like any other time I got together for a chat.

Logan: I would give it a 3. I thought we had an incredible amount in common. I think he's a really interesting person and someone I would get along with, but I just felt like there was no chemistry on my end. I do think he's a cool person and would go out with him again as friends.

Interviews by Kelly DiNardo

Update: Logan says she's thought about calling; Malcolm says he's thought about looking up her e-mail address. But, so far, neither has turned thought into action.

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