Carolyn Hax: This 'nice guy' has anger issues

Adapted from a recent online discussion:

Dear Carolyn:

If a woman has dated both "nice" guys and abusive guys, how come you'll find out that in just about every case, her longest relationships have been with the abusive guys? Why do so many women require some form of drama to remain entertained in a relationship, and do you find this to be childish behavior?

D.C.

Not as childish as attributing this just to women as opposed to people; lumping all women as opposed to addressing only the ones who have similar circumstances; and blaming the victims instead of the abusers.

Besides that, I'm right there with you.

If you're male, and if you're angry that women aren't receptive to you when you see yourself as a "nice" guy, and you believe these women are instead receptive to abusive guys, then maybe it would be productive to consider that you're harboring attitudes about women (and men, for that matter) that aren't really "nice" at all.

Carolyn:

So you're saying there's no segment of women who require drama to be entertained, and I have an attitude problem for disliking drama? Again, when you confront a woman who has been in abusive relationships, which is relatively common, why are their abusive relationships the longest relationships they have? You'd think the relationship with non-abusive men would be the longer relationships, right?