NOTE: This archive only contains Carolyn Hax columns through March 2011. Her more recent columns are located here.

Carolyn Hax: Overgroomed, she wants to let her hair down

(Nick Galifianakis for The Washington Post)
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By Carolyn Hax
Thursday, November 4, 2010

Adapted from a recent online discussion:

Dear Carolyn:

I'm in a relationship that's entering its sixth month. I've been very vigilante in my grooming habits, curbing bodily functions, etc. (I'm a girl.) I think I've inadvertently made him think I never get a zit, I don't poop and my legs are always shaved. In the last couple of weeks there have been some occasions where I haven't worn makeup and he's commented on it. He doesn't say it with judgment, he just makes the observation. It's starting to get on my nerves.

Short of just ceasing to wear makeup at all and farting constantly, how do I get myself out of this? I'm not a slob or anything, it's just that sometimes I just don't feel like shaving and $65 bikini waxes add up. I really really like this guy, but I don't know how much longer I can keep up with all of this grooming and ignoring the fact that we perform bodily functions (dude, I can hear you through the bathroom door). I think bodily functions are hilarious and delight in them! Do I talk to him about this, or just gradually "let myself go"?

Breaking with precedent

Your "before" is some guys' dream girl, your "after" is some others', and having both flatulence and finesse inhabit the same girl would make some others swoon. Just an observation.

And does "vigilante in my grooming habits" mean you roam the streets shaving other people's stubble?

Anyway. Your question is almost self-answering -- the guy comments when you don't wear makeup! He's propping open the bathroom door for you, conversationally speaking.

So, next time, reply honestly: You've been on your best cosmetic behavior, and you've possibly misled him. Don't skip the part about taking delight in farts. It'll either be the best date of his life, or the most necessary of yours.

Dear Carolyn:

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