Picking our nos: More honorable mentions from Week 894 of the Style Invitational
In Week 894, we invited you to submit entries to almost any of the previous year's contests. There wasn't a lot of room for long-form results, such as song parodies, in the print Post, so here are some more honorable mentions.
Week 855, poems based on the news:
O come, O come home, Rahm Emanuel,
And save Chicago from financial hell.
We're glad to hear you'll nix a tax increase;
(If only your profanity would cease.) (Beverley Sharp, Washington)
Week 843, the line preceding a famous line of writing:
I am the Washington Redskins and . . .
It's getting to the point where I'm no fun anymore. I am sorry. Sometimes it hurts so badly I must cry out loud . . . (Craig Dykstra, Centreville)
Why did the manager of the Seattle baseball team pull his pitcher?
It is an ancient Mariner and he stoppeth one of three. (Mae Scanlan, Washington)
Week 845, new definitions for readers' neologisms from earlier contests:
Frostitute: Hoar. (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)
Week 847, a question that could be answered by a sentence in The Post:
A. Among her responsibilities were marketing, public relations, financial management and staff development.
Q. How does her resume deal with her having worked in a brothel for three years? (Russell Beland, Fairfax)
A. Talk about setting a low bar.
Q. Grumpy, what do you plan to do with Dopey at Snow White's wedding reception? (Kevin Dopart, Washington)
Week 851, "downsize" a title:
"West Side Tweet": Riff dies. Bernardo dies. Tony dies. Maria cries. (Craig Dykstra)
Week 855, poems about the news:
Airport security: yikes, what a mess!
Passengers claiming all sorts of distress.
Just about everyone -- kid, woman, man --
Wants to abstain from the full body scan.
(Aside from the fact that it isn't attractive,Fliers don't want to be radioactive.)
As for the pat-down, the outcry is big:
"Keep your fat hands off my thingamajig!"
Travelers think it is breaking the rules
For strangers to mess with the family jewels.
As jackets come off, and the hat, and the sandal,
People keep flying - right off of the handle. (Mae Scanlan, Washington)
Week 855 AND Week 877, limericks including one specified line (Line 4 here):
Ms. Johnson's inflection got snotty
When the cop planned on searching her body.
Would he find what she had?
She said, "Never, you cad,
'Cause I flushed all that stuff down the potty." (Beverley Sharp)
Week 864, spoonerism neologisms:
Clunear: Causing an even hotter reaction. (Judy Blanchard, Novi, Mich.)