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Ask Amy: Tough breakup has ex-girlfriend worried
Excluding one person from a group invitation is very high school. Though I understand your daughter's reasons for wanting to avoid her classmate, I'm surprised you chose to handle this the way you did.
You should have called these parents ahead of time to try to get to the bottom of what has been going on at school. Spreading rumors is bullying, toxic and can be contagious.
Acknowledge that you didn't include their daughter and tell them that your two girls are having problems and you didn't quite know what to do about it. Ask if they have any insight into this situation.
Dear Amy: "Almost Wife" said her longtime boyfriend didn't want to include her children in their lives.
I'm a divorced father of two daughters in their 20s. I have a very strong relationship with my girls. My former girlfriend has two children, a son in college and a 16-year-old daughter.
The son was warm, friendly and open. The daughter mightily resisted my inclusion in any activity. In 18 months, I was invited to dinner exactly twice - because the daughter wasn't comfortable.
My girlfriend refused to be the parent and set the rules for her house and life. I pointed out how marginalized and unimportant this made me feel. I realized things would never change, and I ended the relationship. -- Think I'll Stay Single
Parents should be sensitive to their kids' needs, but shouldn't let their children run the household.
Write to Amy Dickinson at email@example.com or Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60611. Distributed by Tribune Media Services