Date Lab: Is a personality match enough?

Sunday, December 26, 2010; W06

7:30 p.m., Fire and Sage, Downtown

Xavier: I beat her to the restaurant by about 15 minutes. The hostess asked me if I wanted to go to the bar, but I decided against that. I didn't want to be sitting at the bar having a drink when she came in, maybe give off the wrong impression.

Amanda: I took the Metro in and got there early. I went straight to the hostess and said, "I'm here with The Washington Post."

Xavier: I walked up and introduced myself. I thought she was very cute. She was well-dressed, and even though she was wearing heels, she was a little shorter than me. Physically, I like girls that wear glasses, and she wears glasses. I was attracted to her.

Amanda: He [looked] very nice and put-together. He's attractive. [But] he's definitely not my type. I usually go for more athletic-looking, generally military or rugby players. [They] work out a lot -- not "Jersey Shore," but they play a lot of pickup sports, that kind of thing. [But] I wouldn't instantly put anyone in the friend zone just based on how they look.

Xavier: They led us to our table and we sat down. The first thing we started talking about was why we signed up. I let her know one of my motivations for doing Date Lab is [that] a friend of mine and I have a list of 101 things to do before we die, and "go on a blind date" was one of those. My friend had just run a marathon and crossed that off his list, so I was feeling kind of sluggish.

Amanda: Anyone with a list of things to do before he dies is probably pretty interesting. We got a couple of drinks, and we talk[ed] about what we do, where we went to school, where we live. I don't think we ordered an appetizer for about an hour, although I have to admit I was starving. Once you get into a really good conversation, it's tough to think about that stuff.

Xavier: We touched a little bit on travel. I feel like most people that I talk to or meet are these incredibly well-traveled people. I've gotten around a bit, but not quite as much. But she wasn't this uptight pretentious-type person. She was really easy to talk to.

Amanda: We didn't get too in-depth on values or beliefs or anything like that. [But] we had a pretty interesting back-and-forth. About an hour and a half after the appetizer, we split a pizza, just because we needed to order something to eat.

Xavier: At one point, she mentioned she was a fan of "Battlestar Galactica," and I said, "You just played your nerd card right there." She was trying to defend herself, and I was like, "There's nothing wrong with being nerdy." Then we had a long conversation about "Lost." It was nice to see that we had a shared interest in that sort of thing.

Amanda: We both laughed a lot. We talked about liking the same TV shows -- "Arrested Development" and "The Office" -- so we had the same sense of humor in that sense.

Xavier: We were talking about types, and she had said something about her type typically being a rugby player or military type. I didn't let it throw me off too much that she was basically telling me that I wasn't her type physically. I was glad that she was willing to give me a shot and not shut down at the beginning of the date. But as far as romantic chemistry, it wasn't exactly there. I didn't want to misread the situation, so I didn't give her any prompts. And she didn't give me any.

Amanda: There was no flirting. But personality-wise it was a match. [And] I think it's really hard to tell from a blind date whether you're actually connecting.

Xavier: It was about 11:30. It was a Sunday night, and there was just nothing open around us. I think if it were any other night of the week, we'd have gone and done something else.

Amanda: He walked me to the Metro and waited for my train to get there. We were talking about maybe getting together again. We hugged, and we exchanged numbers.

Xavier: I'd [rate the date] a 3.5 [out of 5]. It wasn't love at first sight, but we got along well. It was pretty much four hours of great conversation.

Amanda: I'd [say] a 3. Romantically, it didn't go anywhere, [but] he seems fun and interesting.

-- Interviews by Christina Breda Antoniades

Update: Amanda takes the blame for the lack of a second date -- a new promotion has kept her busy at work. She and Xavier are still trying to make plans to get together again, but so far, nothing.

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