Couch Slouch: In this game, the NFL is an overwhelming favorite

Sunday, March 6, 2011; 10:09 PM

To: DeMaurice Smith, NFLPA executive director

From: Couch Slouch, NFL executive viewer

Re: NFL labor dispute

You look and talk the part; nice threads, nice sound bites. You have a well-heeled clientele. And you might have most of Sports Nation on your side - who roots for privileged team owners, anyway?

But you know what?

You have no chance to win this thing.

You're drawing to an inside straight, and even if you hit it, the NFL already has a full house - and it's very nicely appointed.

Any time it's a labor-management dispute in U.S. history, management is about a 40-to-1 favorite. And any time management happens to be the NFL, you can make that 400-1.

If the lions and tigers at the San Diego Zoo unionized, they'd be in a better position vis-Ã -vis zoo management than the NFLPA vis-Ã -vis the NFL.

Union decertification? That's shuffling deck chairs on the Titanic.

Going after the NFL in court? Maybe you've got a shot there.

But nothing knocks the NFL off its sacred mount. Is the NFL a monopoly? Pretty much. Does it violate antitrust laws? Probably. Will either of those facts change the way the NFL conducts its daily business? Hasn't till now.

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