The TV Column: First finalist is booted from 'American Idol'
It's "American Idol" results night, in which 13 finalists will be turned into 12. In honor of the occasion, judge Steven Tyler is wearing a duster coat with fur print lining, and judge Jennifer Lopez is dressed as a jonquil. Judge Randy Jackson just got pulled out of the gym.
On tonight's show, P Puff Diddy Daddy Dirty Money is going to sell some tickets to his upcoming concert tour, and Adam Lambert is going to sing.
The Jennifer Hudson Memorial Judges Save is back, show host Ryan Seacrest announces. That's the gag that allows the judges to save themselves the embarrassment of letting America vote to boot someone really talented from this competition - like we did to Jennifer Hudson lo these many years ago. The Judges Save allows them to bring one person back into the competition, but it can only be used once per season, it has to be unanimous among the judges, and it has to be used before we get down to the Final Five.
Seabiscuit orders someone to open up the screen to "reveal your beloved 13."
Idolette Casey Abrams is back in the hospital. He was in the hospital a couple weeks ago too. Seabiscuit tells us all to wave to Casey. "Feel better - shout out to the nurses!" Seabiscuit says to Casey, who he assumes is watching on TV.
In pre-Casey-in-hospital times, the Idolettes taped their arrival at Chateau d'Idol, a house so ridiculously gigantic it has to be in foreclosure. The entryway alone is large enough to be an RV dealership. The Idolettes tear through the place like they've been released for recess. But there's a nasty surprise waiting for them upstairs - where it's orphanage living. Yes, each Idolette gets one narrow bed in a wide open guy or chick dormitory. We think we saw a pail and scrub brush by each bed.
On the show, they insist Chateau d'Idol in Beverly Hills - on the other hand, they also said Pasadena is in Hollywood. But, enough about West L.A. real estate -- time to Group Lip Synch! It's a Michael Jackson medley because he's not here to defend himself. Scotty McCreery is the only Idolette who does not get a solo bit during the number, though Paul McDonald barely gets one.
"There's a lot going on tonight," Seabiscuit says about 10 minutes in, with absolutely nothing having happened with regard to actual competition.
But, before Seabiscuit breaks the bad to one unlucky Idolette, the Ford Music Video makes its comeback. We love the Ford Music Video, in which the Idolettes learn the hard life lesson about singing for one's supper. This week's Ford Music Video features the Idolettes pulling up in some abandoned urban landscape, hopping out, and defacing a brick wall via some kind of special effects. We think the car model was called The Tagger, but we can't be sure.
In return for the sweat of their brows, the Idolettes get to plug a movie and it looks as though the best "Idol" could do was "Red Riding Hood" because, we hear, "Jane Eyre" turned them down flat.
Flick star Amanda Seyfried is in the audience and Seabiscuit sits his self down next to her while she looks at him like he's the Big Bad Wolf.
"Did you enjoy it?" Seabiscuit wants her to tell him.