A Very Slight Change in the Script

Blogger Cannonball doesn't dispute that Bush is physically fit. But it's easy to make the case that no one can keep up with him when no one's allowed to pass, he points out.

And more to the point, Cannonball says there is no evidence that Bush has ever ridden his nubby-tired bike on the kind of rugged trails that truly define the sport.

He explained in an e-mail: "Photos and accounts of [Bush's] rides most often mention paved trails or wide, comfortable graded gravel roads. Singletrack is just that, basically a narrow thread of trail, akin to a hiking trail. For mountain bikers, singletrack is the ideal, the holy grail. It offers the toughest technical challenges and also returns the greatest rewards. No mountain biker is complete without riding singletrack."

As it happens, the test of Bush's true mountain-biking credentials could come as early as today. Bush is spending the day at Idaho's brand-new Tamarack Resort, where mountain bikers "can look forward to big-time fun riding Tamarack's 12 miles of sinewy singletrack, rising to the technical trials of our Challenge Park or catching big air in our Jump Park." There's also a chairlift up 7,700 feet to a peak from which mountain bikers can either a) "take a relaxing, scenic route down" or b) "test their skills on more technical, single track trails like Stage Fright and Stage Right."

In my column last Wednesday I bet on b. Now I'm not so sure.

Meanwhile, Sports Illustrated has another glowing story about Bush's biking prowess. Austin Murphy writes that he was one of a small group of reporters summoned "urgently" by the White House to ride with the president a week ago.

He confirms the no-passing rule.

"You know, if I wasn't leading, I'd be following," Murphy quotes Bush as saying, "and I don't like to do that. And secondly, a person may go a little faster than I want to go, you know?"

Murphy also includes in his story some examples of the comic stylings of Cox News reporter Ken Herman, goading a fellow rider trying to pump up a flat tire: "I think this may have been the work of terrorists," Herman said. "If you don't ride, the terrorists win. . . . Better finish that here, because the president insists there is no inflation."

Murphy writes that he had a chance to ride at Bush's side for a while, but adds: "I was careful not to monopolize him. Not all the journos in our group were as mindful. Two in particular (they know who they are) had no qualms about Bogarting the co-pilot's seat for 20 minutes at a time."

Bush Light Bulb Joke

Variations spreading all over the Internet:

"How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a light bulb?

"Ten.

"1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed;

"2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed;

"3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb;

"4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either for changing the light bulb or for eternal darkness;

"5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb;

"6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner 'Bulb Accomplished';

"7. One administration insider to resign and in detail reveal how Bush was literally 'in the dark' the whole time;

"8. One to viciously smear No. 7;

"9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along;

"10. And finally, one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country."