John Kelly's Washington Live

John Kelly writes five times a week about the joys and annoyances of living in Washington. He aims to show readers the Washington (and Silver Spring, Alexandria, Manassas, Bowie ...) that they know and take them places they don't know. He wants to make them see familiar things in unfamiliar ways and unfamiliar things in familiar ways. ("We may occasionally end up seeing unfamiliar things in unfamiliar ways," John says, "but such are the risks of the job.") His columns take a cockeyed view of the place the rest of the planet knows as the Capital of the Free World but that we all call home. John rides the Metro for fun and once kidnapped an Irishman to see what made him tick.

Fridays at 1 p.m. ET John is online to chat about his columns and mull over anything that's on your mind.

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Annandale, Va.: Hey Answer Man! I gotta know it's driving me crazy -- whose head is graffitied on the exit sign for Constitution Avenue on the eastbound side of the TR Bridge? Thanks.

John Kelly: I haven't seen it yet. I know there was graffiti showing up regularly on the sign for Key Bridge but don't know about this one. Anyone else have any idea?

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John Kelly: I think, on average, I'm pretty good about getting things right in my column. I often have a lot of facts, and as we know, facts are stupid things. It's easy to get them wrong. But I try to check them and work hard to keep errors from creeping in. Of course, some columns are more susceptible to errors than others. I once had a colleague who told me it is impossible to write about the Civil War without getting something wrong, and being called on it by someone. That's because the Civil War is incredibly complex and there are thousands of people who devote every waking moment to trying to master it. And, indeed, when I once wrote a column that mentioned a particular battle, I got a fact wrong. Or, as I like to think, not entirely right. I corrected it in a subsequent column.

Which brings us to today's column, a column that is pretty much devoid of facts. What could I get wrong about my own childhood and my own thoughts about the intersection of work and home? Well, this, said a reader: "In today's paper (Friday April 29) Kelly at the bottom of first column says, 'too slow you run out of oxygen'. SCUBA divers breathe compressed air not oxygen."

Any other thoughts on today's column? Or anything else this week? Monday was about D.C.'s lamented Human Kindness Day. Tuesday we chatted with the knights at Medieval Times. Wednesday was about an anti drunk-driving program at some area high schools (and my love of ladders). Yesterday was about what it's like to suddenly get a view from your office window, only to see it cruelly snatched away.

Now, as Marvin Gaye would say, let's get it on.

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Lake Ridge, Virginia: John,

The talk around our office today is about the picture of the nine year old boy on the front page of the Washington Post in Thursday's paper.

This has to rank as one of the most discusting things the Washington post has even done.

Why would they print a picture of an innocent young chap who's father has just been shot to death?

John Kelly: The fact that you're talking about it is one reason. I don't think it's meant to be sensational, but it is compelling. I wondered about that photo, too, but what I decided was this: This was a tragic event, one that has us all thinking about what the correct police response might have been. How do you illustrate it? With a photo of the dead father? Who knows if we even have one, and if so that might not be appropriate. With a photo of a bunch of police officers standing around? That's no good. But the boy is the central element, and nothing illustrates the awful entirety of the story--the boy was taken by his gun-wielding father and then shot by police--than that photo. Yes it's hard to look at but then death is hard too and that's what the police are going to have to investigate now. I'm not saying that their response was inappropriate. If the dad killed the son we'd be screaming that the police didn't do enough. I just think that serious issues that require serious examination deserve serious photos that force us not to flinch.

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Arlington, Va.: John, re: today's column and junk lying around the house.

My father had the solution. Anything left lying on the floor in the living room (usually shoes) got thrown through the nearest door -- either down into the basement or outside.

It worked. We stopped leaving our crap lying around in common rooms.

Of course now I live alone so I can leave my shoes in any room of the house...

John Kelly: I have been known to do that. Or I pile it up on the dining room chair of said kid, just to get it off the floor and inconvenience them. I feel like a POW camp commandant when I do these sorts of things, though. I remember when they were younger and more susceptible to threats I would say things like "If you don't pick up that bowl right now I'm going to put your doll on top of the cupboard!" I felt like a Nazi announcing, "Unless you reveal your escape plans I will shoot every 10th one of you."

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Arlington, Va.: I loved the article about Human Kindness Day. Irony and cynicism in one tightly wrapped package. Thanks for making my day.

John Kelly: My pleasure. If only they hadn't called it Human Kindness Day. It's like they were just asking for it. They would have been better calling it Riot Day or something. I love the image of the cop saying to the family, "Roll up your windows and lock your doors. It's Human Kindness Day." Thanks, officer!

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Manassas, Virginia: John,

My question is in reference to the young 16 year old boy recently shot and killed in D.C.

It is very sad that this young fellow was murdered, but why haven't the reporters asked the simple question of why this young fellow was out in the streets at 2:30 in the morning on a school night or any other night for that matter? I have yet to hear any news station ask this question.

John Kelly: While it's a question some people might be thinking of, how could a news station ask it? Are you fair game for being killed if you're out at 2:30? It doesn't make the crime any more excusable.

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Washington, D.C.: Hi John.

I am a little ticked off today. I just dropped $1,000 for a new laptop and opened the newspaper today to news that there is a $200 computer being offered in developing countries. So the reason I just paid a grand for a nationally advertised brand is......?????????

John Kelly: Because you can afford to. You can trade it in for the cheap computer but then you also have to get dosed with malaria or elephantiasis. (Go for the malaria.)

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Northwest Washington, D.C.: Another "Staff Appreciation Week" has come to an end, thank God. We underlings call it 'Staff Humiliation Week' -- a time when management, which does not know our individual names, gives us some cheesy Chinese-made crap with the Firm's name on it to show their appreciation. We have to put up with their abuse 51 weeks out of the year. For one week they pretend to be nice to us. Starting Monday they'll be treating us like dogsh-t on their shoes again. Try working with bosses who storm in every morning like your 'Mad Dad' you wrote about today.

Our firm merged with another last year, upping the income of management and partners for both firms, but they're taking away support staff's benefits. We don't even get a Christmas bonus, but their already-high income increased by about 35%. Their thanks to us is a token plastic gift once a year.

So, what did you give your assistant for 'Staff Humiliation Week' this year?

Am I steamed? You bet your Bruno Maglias I'm steamed.

John Kelly: You could power a turbine with the seething resentment that law firm support staff members feel for their overlords. (I'm assuming that's what you are.) I've heard that the lawyers just treat the underlings like ..., well, not very well. At many firms, anyway.

And every day is Staff Appreciation Day here at John Kelly's Washington. Just the other day I gave Julie a tip: don't drink the bathwater.

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Alexandria, Va.: Mad Dad: Years ago before our marriage, when my wife and I were still dating and I began to get to know her family, I was introduced to a family tradition. My future father in law was a wonderful man, not moody so much as mercurial. He knew that when his emotional ballon was about to pop, the best thing was to remove himself from the scene. This usually took the form of a solitary drive of a half hour or so and everything was fine again. The family referred to this as "driving off in a huff". Then came the inevitable question in a home with two teenagers "Which car did he take?" Usually he took his company car (green Chevy 4 door with blackwall tires, zero cool) and left the family sedan. Eventually the company car came to be called by all of them, including my father in law, The Huffmobile or just The Huff.

John Kelly: That's a great story. I, too, find driving soothing, although what I've occasionally done is go off to some movie that I know my family doesn't want to see. When the kids were littler and I'd had a particularly bad day and evening, I took in a 10 p.m. screening of "The Lost World," the second Jurassic Park movie. I knew it was going to be awful, and it was, but it improved my mood.

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John Kelly: So what do we think about paying to ride on an extra bit of Beltway? It's almost like a sin tax, isn't it? The people building those special lanes have got to hope that traffic keeps getting worse. It's the only way they'll make money. The worst thing that could happen is for people to carpool, for us to build better public transportation, for workers to telecommute, etc.

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Alexandria, Va.: I liked your Mad Dad column. I'm single, and, when I get home from work, I like to take a short nap on the couch. Afterward, I feel refreshed and able to enjoy the evening.

But I've often wondered what it's like to have kids who want things from you the minute you walk in the door. Seems like, because you get home late, yours are off doing homework or whatever, but there's clearly a shift in expectations--a new set of demands at the end of the day.

So, I think I understand both the transition issue and the "work is a less complex and, sometimes, more immediately rewarding environment " issue, and I sympathize with your perspective.

I wonder, though, how you felt about publishing that column knowing that your young daughters would read it. Did you talk w/ them about it first? What sort of reaction did you get--or, assuming they didn't get a preview--do you think you'll get?

John Kelly: I don't know what they think. I'm not sure they read it. When I specifically mention them, I always tell them ahead of time. This column I discussed with My Lovely Wife and I think she was sort of dreading it. But she didn't think I had exaggerated anything. This morning was a little tense. But that's my job.

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Silver Spring, Md.: Wow, I never really understood before what an enormous honor it is to host one of these chats! Yesterday, the guy who played Screech in Saved By The Bell did one. You are in esteemed company, Mr. Kelly!

John Kelly: I haven't read Mr. Screech's chat. That seemed a bit of a stretch to me. How about Larry Bird on what it's like to have the same last name as the Oriole Bird?

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Washington, D.C.: John, thank you for the wonderful Friday afternoon respite from work! I have a car to donate. I also recall Post articles (maybe by Bob Levey?) about organizations where these things were taken care of properly, and others where titles were never transferred, etc. Do you have a list of these more reputable organizations? (Also, do any organizations pull cars from backyards or would we need to call AAA?) Thanks for the help - the old roommates will thank you, too for freeing up a parking spot!

John Kelly: I don't have a list. We gave ours to Melwood in the past. They advertise quite heavily in the area. The rules changed Jan. 1 so some charity groups aren't in the donated-car biz anymore. (Basically, people used to be able to deduct the supposed value of the car. Now the IRS says you can only deduct what the charity was able to sell it for. So it's more complicated, but it quashes people putting ridiculous values on their donations.) Any advice from chatters?

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Reston, Va.: John...

About the Washington Post subscription, how much do you think it's appropriate to tip? I only get the Sunday edition, and the bill is for 3 months. I wasn't aware that I should also "tip" the person, so I'm trying to correct my massive error.

Thanks

John Kelly: I'm pretty sure we tip 20 bucks around Christmas time, when they give you the calendar and an envelope. You're getting Sunday only? Then, what, 10 bucks? Of course, the whole tipping thing is weird. I know it's important to do it but I always get mildly freaked out, whether it's at the hair salon or the wherever.

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Frederick, Md.: Wow, another week shot to heck. I tried to make a strawberry daiquiri and it turned out awful. Answer Man, do you have a good recipe for a daiquiri? I want to get toasted and pretend I'm on a tropical island.

John Kelly: I don't have a good recipe, but I do have a daiquiri memory. That was another drink that my father loved to make. I remember whenever we went to Baskins Robbins I would get daiquiri ice cream in the belief that it was just like what he was drinking. Something was missing...

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Annandale, Va.: Moonlighting as a TV star John? I recently saw your Kia Sedona commercial where you play a husband sitting in the minivan at a car dealership while his wife looks on from the outside of the vehicle. You are talking to the salesman, making gestures which look like you are in tough negotiations, yet when we get the audio, we hear how much you like all the cars features and that you "must gesture aggressively so my wife thinks I am trying to get a really good deal." Makes me laugh! Good work!

John Kelly: I haven't seen this ad. It must have some handsome chap as its star, though.

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Washington, D.C.: It's interesting how different people have different ideas of what constitutes "the most disgusting thing the Washington Post has ever done." For Lake Ridge, VA, it's the photo of the nine-year-old boy. For one individual who posted a comment on Joel Achenbach's blog, it's Achenbach's failure to take seriously the latest news about the ivory-billed woodpecker.

John Kelly: Often "the most disgusting thing" is the result of a misunderstanding or a case of shoot-the-messenger anger. For example, I'm pretty sure Joel is excited about the woodpecker. It's pretty cool that it's been hidden all these years. His blogreader is probably offended that Joel didn't express his opinion (his opinion!) in exactly the way the blog reader would have.

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Mad Dad: Fabulous column today!; Loved it.

As a single, childless happening chick in my 30's, it seems like The Post is obsessed with parents&kids - have you SEEN all the haiku- -happy family circus-oh aren't my children just the center of the universe drivel?

But your column wasn't about all that. It was real, very honest, courageously honest (I'm assuming your fam reads it) and I just loved it.

Thanks!;

John Kelly: Thanks. Having a family is a great thing but I don't subscribe to that whole lovey-dovey worldview where kids are precious little treasures and spouses look at each other with vapid eyes. I think my main point is that relationships--real relationships--are hard. Work is easy in comparison.

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grafitti, BORF strikes again: The graffiti in question is the work of BORF. A pretty cool tagger that uses stencils instead of hand painted designs. Similar to silk screening, but with spray paint. DCIST had a feature on him. http://www.dcist.com/archives/2005/04/19/borfs_magnum_opus.php

John Kelly: Thank you. I have seen both those stencils and the "BORF" tag around town. I think the stencils are cool, but I hate the Borf graffiti, which just makes Borf look like he has diarrhea of the pen.

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National Zoo, D.C.: Hi John,

Will we have 24-hr Metro services one day?

I need to get to work - 5 am, and it's pretty darn hard to find carpool....

John Kelly: Wow, I don't think so. Remember how long it took them to go just a bit earlier and a bit later. Wait, you have to be at the zoo at 5 a.m.? Is this Mei Xiang?

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Front Royal, Va.: Hey John,

I just wanted to say that I had one of those Mad Mom moments last night with my 5 year old. This morning I felt so awful as I did not get to see him off to school that I called him three times to wish him a happy Friday and to have a good day at school.

Do I feel that I need to make up for my bad behavior -- YES! Therefore I am taking my son to the circus this weekend at the Apple Blossom Festival in Winchester for some good Mother-Son bonding. Your welcome to join us and to try to explain to me why we can't just all get along...

John Kelly: That sounds like a fun weekend. What did the school think about three phone calls?

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Foggy Bottom: John,

The new online formats are annoying. The new format throughout the site is annoying. Why can I no longer find your column in the Metro Section? Why can't I find a submit question button on the bottom of this chat screen? Why is the WP trying to "improve" things by making it more difficult to do what was very easy before? Why?

John Kelly: Yes, they're still working out the bugs. You can always find me in the "Today's Editorials, Opinions and Columns" pulldown menu on the left of the home page. I hope they'll reinsert me into Metro soon and also get back up the archive of my past columns. They tell me that the system is more stable on the back end, allowing them to be more flexible there. Stay tuned and thanks for your patience.

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Re: $200 computers: I once worked with a guy who had had malaria. He said the hallucinations were excellent.

John Kelly: And you don't have to get all new clothes, which is the drawback of elephantiasis.

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Herndon, Va.: John, your column today was great. And the answer is that you're NOT a Bad Dad for feeling that way: you'd be a Bad Dad if you let it rule you, if you let it mean that you DO spend as much time as possible at the office to avoid the vagaries of family life.

John Kelly: The central issue is: How do you spend your life? Obviously we make it up as we go along. Should your job be the center of your life, the way you define yourself? Or should you define yourself in other ways: what you are rather than what you do? (Ever since my heart attack I've been working up various theories. I may start a cult, if I can get the precepts right.)

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Washington, D.C.: Re: the student killed in DC... why all the visits to Ballou this week? That student lived in PG county. Why aren't the parents being interviewed and asked why their son was out on the streets? The mother was quoted, I think, saying that he hadn't gotten into trouble, so she let him do what he wanted... at 2:30 in the morning, there is nothing but trouble for a 16 year old!

John Kelly: I wouldn't let my 16 year old out at that hour, and if he was killed I'd feel awful, wondering if there was something I could have done differently. But again, there's something wrong if people can't be out at 2:30 a.m.

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About leaving things around the house:: With my teen-aged children and I (my husband was stationed overseas), the rule was, if anyone left personal stuff in the livingroom and someone else was bothered by it, the bothered person could take the offending items and put them right inside the door of owner's room. This cleaned up the public area without having anyone infringe on personal space.

John Kelly: Ooo, that's sort of like the law of salvage or something. I can see how that would make things cleaner in the public areas but I can just see my daughters using the rule as a hauling service. Mom and Dad would end up carting stuff upstairs.

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Washington, D.C.: In all of the possible discussion forums to ask this question, yours seems the most relevant. After all, your the Answer Man!

What does one do when one graduates college? Grudation is in May and there are no future prospects. I have to admit that I look at postings/companies all the time and I've even applied to three jobs I would LOVE to do. But I haven't heard back, and I know the process is a long one. When does one start applying for jobs just for the fact that they pay? when do you realize that your ideological dreams of not working in a place that slowly eats awway at your soul are just that: dreams? Do you travel? What is the average transition period after college like?

John Kelly: My father in law said you shouldn't take a job for the money, but should do work that you enjoy. This was easy for him to say because he made a lot of money at a job he loved. I think everyone feels a little adrift right after college. I don't think you should give up on whatever it is you want to do already. I mean, now's the time to starve a bit. Keep looking for somethign close to what you want to do. Which is what, exactly?

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Silver Spring, Md.: My lovely wife has been dealing with noisy construction and the walling-over of her windows at 25th and M NW for the last year or so, and Thursday's column was helpful to her. Now if you would just come over and help do my laundry and pick up after my children.....

later,

jim p

John Kelly: It's when they wall over the doors that she has to worry. I was trying to get a reference to Antigone in my column, but just couldn't pull it off. I had to settle for Homer.

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Manassas, Va.: Hi John,

Just how long are most chats. Sometimes I'll submit a question and on the next refresh, the chat will be over.

John Kelly: Whoa. My chat lasts an hour, or a little more. Are you joining the chats too late?

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re Washington DC: The $200 computer does not do much other than have access to the web. NO Games. NO Flash downloads NO interactive chat boards NO monitor NO keyboard. I bet that if you took all the things on your computer that assists you in doing these type of activities then your computer would cost would only cost a few hundred $.

John Kelly: And what would you do without interactive chat boards? You gotta have the interactive chat boards.

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Springfield, Va.: Hi John! Loved your column today. My husband and I have an unwritten "20 minute rule". He gets 20 minutes (no we don't start a stopwatch as soon as he enters the door) to himself when he gets home from work (to take off the suit, remove his ID - which is clipped to belt, no lanyard, check mail, etc.). Then, he turns into a sane person, and we can tackle what lies ahead.

John Kelly: That's worth trying. My assistant, Julie, was saying that her father has a den that he retires to to decompress. A den would be nice. Next house. But then does that mean that each of us needs a separate room in addition to our bedroom? We'd have to be in Versaille.

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The shooting standoff:: John,

I've been pondering this since reading the article this morning. Why is it that in every formerly-"quiet and kept to himself"-person-run-amok case, some quote always appears, attributed to the neighbors, stating that the perpetrator in question was great, quiet, helped with the yardwork, and NO WAY could he/she ever do the things he/she did.

This guy's wife was scared enough of him that she needed the police to help her leave. And apparently, with good reason.

But still, his friends are apparently don't think he could hurt his kid - never mind the armed standoff. And this happens a lot - the Unibomber, the BTK killer. Apparently, judging from the quotes, almost no future menace to society ever does anything that causes his/her neighbors/friends, etc. to think that they're anything besides a stand-up guy/gal.

I'm not sure it's helpful to keep interviewing people who say these things - along with delusional stuff like: "You know how a marriage can get once in a while. I'm sure they could have straightened out what their differences were." Unless, of course, they couldn't, because the man's response to a marital difficulty was to kidnap his own kid. At gunpoint.

John Kelly: I think we still have to interview those people and print those stories. Because that's what people tell us. It's like saying that tornados sound just like freight trains. Yes, it's become a cliche, but if that's what they sound like, that's what they sound like.

I think the clear message is that we should start rounding up quiet people who keep to themselves. They're the ones who start all the trouble.

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Takoma Park: Hello John

Can you tell me what the HUGE building being built next to New York Avenue metro stop is? I ride by it everyday and have no idea. But it will be pretty massive whatever it is.

Thanks.

John Kelly: They're building a new HQ for the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, Explosives, Really Sharp Knives, Spitting Cobras and Nunchuks.

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Another kind of hybrid: Mr. Kelly,

Wanted to get your opinion on a craigslist ad:

"I am looking for a puggle (pug/beagle mix) For my family. We saw one in a pet store, but I do not want to pay such outrageous prices ($650) and I am not overly trusting of pet stores. Would prefer a breeder or private individual. Looking to spend $200 - $300 at maximum. Please do not send me messages about how it is irresponsible to breed mixes."

So what's next? a collie/pug/beagle = kugel (tasty ... and kosher!;)

chow + poodle = choodle, or POW!; (just like on Batman)

bichon frise + yorkie = biorkie (Bjorkie? that's probably copyright infringement)

pug + yorkie = porkie?

John Kelly: This looks like a Style Invitational contest. I'll tell you what I want: Some friends have an accidental labrador/dachsund mix. It ended up being a perfectly-scaled down black lab, about between the sizes of the two breeds. It's like a pocket lab. Someone should get right on this.

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Washington, D.C.: re: car donations. the local NPR stations also take them. I have heard numerous announcements for this on WAMU--88.5. Check out wamu.org.

John Kelly: That's right, they're still doing it.

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Good Picture: Thanks for putting your regular picture back up. I thought those others were, well, kind of silly. In the one that's posted now, you look like a friendly, smart guy, which I'm sure is absolutely correct.

John Kelly: But I'm afraid that I look like a friendly, smart guy who keeps to himself and never bothers anyone. That's why I want to post odd pictures, so I can escape the roundup.

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Happy reader/chatter: John,

I love the new feature of these WP chats that allows us to get new responses just by hitting F5. It refreshes the page with new posts without losing your place. Before we had to re-scroll down to find where we left off. Thank you WP!;!;

John Kelly: Yeah, that was my idea. They wanted to go with F4 or F6, but I said, no, you gotta go with F5. It's the highest number on the Fujita scale.

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Re: SCUBA: Don't feel bad; I think your complaining reader is off base. Yes, Scuba divers breathe compressed air, but it's the oxygen in that compressed air that is keeping the diver alive, and running out of oxygen is the danger in ascending too slowly. What you wrote is perfectly accurate.

John Kelly: That's sort of what I thought. Also that today's column wasn't really ABOUT scuba diving. If anyone is injured because they filled their scuba tank with the wrong gas based on what they read today, I'm sorry.

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Washington, D.C.: I heard there was a move to change the name of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms to the Department of Drinkin', Smokin', and Shootin'.

John Kelly: They'll sell a lot more T-shirts if they do.

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New York, N.Y.: That was a really nice column today. I mean it. I'm graduating soon and wierdly, it made me slightly less apprehensive about jumping into the world of 9-to-5. Thanks!

John Kelly: Thank you, but why does it make you less apprehensive? I thought I made it sound like being a grown-up is a nightmare. I'm glad you're not apprehensive though. Don't be. Whatever you do, don't be apprehensive!

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Herndon, Va.: Well, some guys I know -do- define themselves by their jobs. And that's their choice, but they're missing the point. As someone once said, "Nobody ever lay on their deathbed wishing they'd spent more time at the office, but many have lain there wishing they'd spent more time at home".

When my daughter was born, we (my wife and I) made a conscious decision that the job was secondary -- I'm good and successful at what I do, but we've opted NOT to take various new positions that would have required extensive travel, longer hours, etc.

The wife of a friend who works for a Beltway Bandit consulting firm once suggested that the company invite wives and kids to the company Christmas party, line up the dads at one end, and ask the kids to identify their fathers. She was only sort of joking.

How you choose to live your life is your business, but, again, the key to me is to -decide-, to think about it. The folks who just drift into 12-hour days and never see their families are the ones who (may) wake up at some point and realize they missed it. I'm sure there are some who decide they want the 12-hours days and don't want to spend the time with their families, and that's their business. Not what I chose, not what you clearly chose, but their business.

It's always been my belief that mid-life crises arise from not choosing and/or lacking the maturity to play the game you chose. Yeah, I see some yutzes I've worked with who are more successful (have advanced further in their careers) and whom I KNOW I can run rings around, but so what? I chose the game, I play the hand. No regrets.

John Kelly: No regrets is really the key, I think.

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University Career Counselor: To the job seeker:

Remember that your first job out of college will not "define" your career. This isn't make or break time. MANY people take a first job out of school that will help pay the bills and position them for their next big career move. You are not expected to have all the answers at 21 years old.

Also remember that in today's world, people change CAREERS (not just jobs) upwards of 3-4 times in their lives. You have to be ok with that in order to feel as though you are on the right career track.

Lastly, you will want to apply to a lot more than 3 jobs. You should be sending your resume out to anything at all you can see yourself doing, along with networking and requesting informational interviews.

Talk to your college career counselor. We're very approachable, and you'd be surprised how many people in lots of different industries we know in this town!;

John Kelly: Paying the bills is good, but ideally it shouldn't be the only reason for taking a job. What I can't stand is dealing with people who obviously hate their job and, by extension, hate me, the customer. Go ahead and take a job for money. Learn from that job. Learn about yourself. Then stay if you want or leave if you must.

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Sterling, Va.: Whoo NW DC employee who hates management might not have the problem much longer-that is, if the email (presumably sent on complany computer is seen). Yes, you can be fired for this. My goodness, there are plenty of appreciate employers; quit griping and find a new job. I've had horrible bosses and great bosses and great is better. Good luck!

John Kelly: Today's chat just seems to be designed for people pondering a career change.

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Accokeek, Md.: Hello, I was reading the paper today and had seen something about a job fair I beleive was being held in P.G. County soon. I believe it was called Maryland Job Fair and i beleive i had seen it in the Metro section. Quick background so that you would have an idea of what I am talking about. My paper was left on the metro and there was a number to find out more about the job fair. if you know what im talking about could you give me the number because i can't find it online. Thank you.

John Kelly: We've been looking and haven't been able to find it. Anyone else? Or you could buy another paper. Might be the best 35 cents you'd ever spend.

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Washington, D.C.: Dear Mad Dad--I like to think that there are two kinds of families. The ones where orderliness trumps creativity and fun, and the ones where messiness is viewed as an inevitable side-effect of living life to the fullest. Congrats on having the latter type of family! By the way, even those of use (like me) who prefer home to work have days when we feel like indentured servants to our children. Actually, I had a rare and wonderful experience last night: My 12-year-old daughter, WITHOUT BEING ASKED, unloaded the clean dishes from the dishwasher, loaded it with dirty dishes and ran it, wiped the counters, and changed both cat litter boxes. She didn't ask me for money or for some special privilege, either! So...cherish the good moments, eh?

DD from DC

John Kelly: Beatify that child.

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BORF is good...: But he's no Disco Dan....

John Kelly: I grew tired of Cool Disco Dan, who seemed to believe in quantity, not quality.

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Bethesda, Md.: John-

You need to send your column about the building height limits in D.C. to the Washington Nationals staff. Not sure if you're aware or not, but usually during the middle of the 8th or beginning of the 9th they have the "Washington, D.C. trivia." The question on Tuesday was "How many buildings in the District have 26 floors?" Correct Answer: 0.

Fine. But then there was a little blurb after listing the correct answer that says, "No building may be taller than the Washington Monument."

The error must be redressed, post haste!

John Kelly: Okay, I'll get on it. While it's true that no buildings ARE taller than the Washington Monument, as you know, there are no rules that mention the Monument.

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Shooting: Some people were quoted as wondering why the man

in Alexandria had to get shot. Answer: he pointed a

gun at a cop. That seldom has any other outcome.

John Kelly: And it's not a good idea to "wave" a gun at a cop, either.

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Bristow, Va.: One antidote (or at least ameliorative) to the Mad Dad Syndrome is the Long Commute by Train. Those 75 minutes allow me to unwind, collect my thoughts, read (my favorite leisure time activity), so that when I get home I'm usually more ready for Daddy Time. One of the side benefits of living in the ex-urbs, I suppose. This certainly wouldn't apply to a similar-length commute crawling on I-66, of course; that would make a Mad Dad out of anyone, regardless of how well your day went.

John Kelly: Maybe those new Beltway Lexus lanes will help soothe troubled commutes.

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Re: "what do i do after college?": Get thee to thy Career Center!;!; They have seen many like you before and will after, so go seek help from those best suited to help you!;

John Kelly: Talking to as many people as possible is the key. not just at the career center, but everywhere. I got the job I had during college by chatting up a girl who worked at a record store near my apartment. And I dated her sister. You never know when you'll make a connection. (The job worked out fine; the relationship ended in tears.)

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Fairfax, Va.: Mad Dad: I often hear the same sentiments, especially from my male coworkers. Then I go home to my quiet, child-free house and quietly chuckle in contentment. Not that I'm gloating, mind you, but I see more tiredness and discouragement than joy among my friends and acquaintances who have children. That's one (but not the only) reason my husband and I decided to forego the experience and instead be a cool aunt and uncle to our nieces and nephews.

John Kelly: Well, it has highs and lows. The highs do outweigh the lows but prospective parents should know both sides going in.

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Now wait a sec...: That SCUBA comment is a little ridiculous. Yes scuba divers take in compressed air, but only to get to the oxygen. There are lots of Very Important Components of air, but none so important to scuba divers as the O2. If you ran out of Nitrogen, not as big a deal, as running out of oxygen. That person really needs to find a hobby.

John Kelly: Yeah, you wouldn't want your tank filled with "trace elements."

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Job Fair: COngressman Albert Wynn (Maryland 4th district) is sponsoring one soon in P.G. I'd call his office.

John Kelly: Thanks. Git on over there, all of you jobseekers.

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Re: hybrid dogs: Your friends' dog sounds adorable!;

It's like my husband says: If we could breed miniature Saint Bernards, we'd be rich!;

John Kelly: Or really big chihauhaus.

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Re: Scaled Down Lab: Already exists and is called the English Labrador. It looks like a 1 year old dog for its entire life.

John Kelly: Awwwwww. But do they have bad teeth? You know the English.

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MD job fair:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/04/28/AR2005042801642.html

A search on Washingtonpost.com yielded this address.

John Kelly: All right, we want a finder's fee!

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Alexandria, Va.: I feel so bad now! When I was younger, I was one of those homeschooled kids. My poor mother had to deal with us all day long and as soon as my father came home.... we all bombarded him with needs for attention and affection.

John Kelly: And I'm sure he gave it to you.

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Washington, D.C.: Tipping is rediculous, why can't buisnesses pay their employees better wages and incorporate that in to the prices? Do they think they are tricking me into believing their prices are cheaper?

John Kelly: Sounds like a column.... (Do people tip columnists?)

If you have any ideas for columns, send them my way: kellyj@washpost.com.

Have a good weekend. If you're a Mad Dad, take a deep breath and hug your kids when you get home tonight. Same for the Mad Moms out there. Speaking of out there, no chat next week as I'll be out there, spending the weekend in Cambridge, Ma., our fair city.

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Stuff on the floor: My dad's policy was if found stuff of ours in the common areas of the house - or even in our own rooms after he asked us to clean them up - he took everything and put it in garbage bags...which we could then "buy back" with our allowance at $2 an item.

John Kelly: I've got to make sure my kids read this chat. See ya.

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