Can Media Overuse Stifle Emotional Maturity?

Author Michael Bugeja was online to discuss his new book, "Interpersonal Divide: The Search for Community in a Technological Age," an interdisciplinary analysis of the void that develops between people when they spend too much time in virtual rather than real communities.

A transcript follows.

About Michael Bugeja

Director of the Greenlee School of Journalism and Communication at Iowa State University, Michael Bugeja is the author of 20 books, including "Living Ethics: Developing Values Across Media Platforms," and writes for the Chronicle of Higher Education and Inside Higher Ed among others. His comments about ethics have been published in the Columbia Journalism Review and American Journalism Review. He is also an accomplished poet.

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washingtonpost.com: Hi Michael, thanks for joining us. What inspired you to write this book?

Michael Bugeja: The inspiration came with proliferation of technology, about four years ago. I started to notice the lines between home, work and play blurring as never before. My daughter, 17 at the time, was in her room online obsessively. My son, 11, was in his room playing video games. I was working as special assistant to a president of a major university, not Iowa State, at the time, and we were doing email from the early morning through work (though our offices were yards away) and then into the evening. My spouse, a photojournalist, was working in her home office, too. I usually cook dinner for the family, and one day, I was in the kitchen alone, listening to the media noise--televisions on but not watched, mostly--and also noticed that members of the household were eerily segmented according to lifestyle clusters.

INTERPERSONAL DIVIDE is not autobiographical, by any means. There are no personal anecdotes. But these paragraphs, which I will reprint for you below my response, might come closest to what I experienced on that day when my segmented family was cloistered in their respective psychographic rooms:

BOOK EXCERPT: Home used to be "where the heart is," a phrase that suggests security. Home used to be a castle or refuge, a place or a room of one's own away from the hustle and bustle of the workaday world. Many have lost that sense of security due to the blurring of place. If you own a computer, you have two addresses: a real one in which the computer is located and a virtual one in which the computer operates. If you have more than one computer, you have a real address where both machines are located and two virtual portals into and out of your home. If you buy a domain name to operate a business or promote an association from your home, chances are you work at a real company or association and come home to virtual ones. Your personal "home" page is yet another portal into and out of your home. Your portable phone with email and Internet functions also contains a virtual address that follows you into and out of your home. Like most conscientious readers, you may still believe that your home is the source of warmth and security-just a bit more connected, is all. A genuine feeling of connectedness is self-affirming. Do you feel that? In another era, not terribly long ago, you could provide safe haven for yourself and your children, providing that you locked the doors or joined a local neighborhood watch or, if appropriate, installed security equipment to notify authorities of a break-in. At present, in thousands of homes, parents are locking doors inside rooms of their dwellings where computers are found to keep children off them so that everyone can go to sleep or participate in family or other necessary activities. In thousands more homes, however, parents are allowing children unrestricted access to virtual portals for a variety of reasons-because they believe that the Internet is educational and their children are engaged in wholesome activities, because they want time to use their own computers away from the children, or because they want to email relatives in virtual habitats while their family operates in isolation under their own roofs.

Family members may share the same home and DNA, but their lifestyle habits are influenced by other factors. ...

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Undisclosed location: My boss is in his office until 4 or 5 am on the computer. He belongs to over 30 discussion groups that are work-related and he spends hours on end writing and learning about work on the computer. He seems to have become obsessed with the computer. We all recognize it is not healthy to spend that much time with the computer. Do people eventually become bored with the computer and give it up, or might he be hopelessly addicted, and is there anything we should or could do?

Michael Bugeja: It's a curious type of addiction, a choice, really, about which world one wants to live in: the real one, with rainbows of texture--sights, sounds, smells, tastes, touch and motion [a kind of sixth sense]--or a predictable, digital world with simulations of all that.

My own faculty and staff might chuckle at the question, because they know that I am on email as early as 3 a.m. But the reason I do that is so that I can spend time exercising before work and interacting during the day with employees face-to-face at the office. This way, I can come home at a reasonable hour and make dinner for the family, and then go outside with my boys (since coming to Iowa we have a two-year old now).

So if your boss is doing the same thing, using email to clear out a schedule, so that he can spend more time with employees interpersonally, that, alas, might be a business decision which still comes with consequences--in my case, lack of sleep and weight gain.

However, if he is using email to communicate on serious matters, including sensitive personnel ones, or sending electronic memos when there should be meetings, so that issues can be discussed, then this indeed is addiction and questionable management practice.

What should you do? When an email comes back about a personnel matter, thank him for his quick electronic reply, and ask if you can meet with him interpersonally because the issue is too sensitive for email. If you receive an email on an important policy that should be discussed at a meeting, send a polite reply asking whether the intriguing ideas might become even more so when others on the team can interact interpersonally. Ask for that meeting.

Finally, while discussion groups can be helpful, participating in several at the expense of employees sends a subtle message: People somewhere else and their ideas are more important than people here and their contributions. In that case, buy a copy of INTERPERSONAL DIVIDE, snip out this exchange on "Live Online," and tell him to contact me for a reality check.

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Naples, Italy: How does one counter that when an employer expects you to exploit technology, even applauds avoiding face to face meeting at every turn? And how does one get out of the habit of side stepping human contact? What a fascinating topic... how very timely! In this day and age of technological saturation, human contact is still the main thing everyone craves. Human often resorting to technology to 'reach out' for that virtual contact... when we could simply go sit in the park and interact with the real thing!

Michael Bugeja: Your perspective is fascinating to me, because I am Maltese and know the Mediterranean culture. How sad this question is, because I cannot fathom in Italy, which I know, a more confusing set of circumstances--an employer who avoids face-to-face contact in an environment in which we kiss both cheeks as a greeting.

How does one counter this situation? Remind the employer of the wisdom that you express here: "Human contact is still what everyone craves." Everyone, by the way, includes customers and clients.

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Devakottai, Tamil Nadu, India: While all technologies tend to exacerbate the rich-poor divide, it is possible to use the very same technologies to bridge these divides. The trick is to focus on community ownership and the 'public commons' approach in using technology in a holistic programme that aims to help the poor get out of the poverty trap. That is precisely what we are achieving in the Information Village Research Project of the M S Swaminathan Research Foundation in southern India. While many telecentre projects focus on technology, we focus on people, their contexts and needs.

Michael Bugeja: Technology can bridge many divides, but only if it enhances or encourages interpersonal contact, rather than simply replaces it. And your project, which sounds fascinating, is precisely the kind that I recommend in INTEPERSONAL DIVIDE. But I also warn that the medium is the message, especially when it comes to marketing. Some of the most enlightened Internet projects, for instance, dilute in an ocean of pop-ups and spam. Assessment in projects like yours also is important. You may be achieving good results, but also analyze the side-effects.

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Washington, D.C.: Recently, while taking walks in my neighborhood, I've noticed that more and more people are talking on cell phones while walking to and from. As we are able to be more connected, via cell phone, computer, etc., do you think we are forgetting how to take pleasure in our own company? Are meaningful, face-to-face conversations being lost in this new, "connected" age?

Michael Bugeja: This is my pet peeve. You are SO right. I have written extensively about that in INTERPERSONAL DIVIDE. I have seen couples holding hands with each free hand holding a cell phone and speaking to others. I have seen parents with toddlers in strollers ignoring their children--on their first tours of real community--because they are speaking on the cell phone.

Here is a book excerpt:

Consumers view cell phones as social necessity. New behavioral norms have arisen with that change in attitude, responsible for the diffusion. A typical store clerk generally does not feel insulted when patrons using cell phones continue their discussions during purchases, barely noticing the person at the register. The cell-phone user would likely feel socially affronted should the clerk (or anyone else, for that matter) request his or her attention in physical place, and the phenomenon is not limited to behavior in stores. A person speaking aloud in a restroom stall used to startle others in the facility. Now the assumption is he or she is using a cell phone there. Cell phones resound digitally and regularly during worship, wakes, births, graduations, hearings, trials, and board meetings-interrupting life-changing spiritual moments or secular proceedings-with most people present accepting the intrusion with mild annoyance, if any. These subtle social transformations provide evidence that the medium not only is the message, but the moral, and "virtual morality"-as the phrase suggests-is borne out of mechanism rather than humanism.

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Alexandria, VA: My boss was constantly re-writing the press releases I emailed to her. So today I instead printed out my draft and took it to her. I waited as she read it. She made some suggestions and I was able to make the changes so that the piece was truly my own.

Getting stuck in technology could prevent your own skills from being developed.

Michael Bugeja: Excellent point. I will share this anecdote with my Public Relations students at Iowa State and also incorporate it in my ethics class.

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Livingston, NJ: HI,

Thank you for taking my question.

I've noticed that as more and more people get DSL or broadband, the "on all the time" internet access in their residence, they seem to spend more and more time online.

Does your book offer suggestions on how to go about not letting it take over your life? It seems so easy to just drift into an online life...

Thanks,

Michael Bugeja: You're absolutely right. The behavior between Dial-Up and DSL folks is acute.

I do offer suggestions at the end of each chapter on how to mitigate media's impact.

Here is a sample:

Take an inventory of media appliances and technology devices in your home and workplace/school. Make observations about each appliance and device, concerning:

-- Utility. Which ones are efficient and why? Which ones are intrusive and why? Which ones are used primarily for (a) entertainment, (b) information, (c) communication?

-- Time. Which ones save time and which waste time? How, if at all, is time saved and how do you spend that spare time Xin real or in virtual environments?

-- Impact. Which ones influence relationships at home and at work/school, for better or worse? Which ones blur boundaries between home and work/school? How much money do you spend each month operating or using these appliances and devices, including estimated electrical costs, monthly fees or service charges, upgrades and accessories, etc.?

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New York City: Are you finding that women prefer to have a sense of community versus men?

Michael Bugeja: I hesitate to make that kind of broad generalization. Perhaps media, especially self-help, gives us that impression.

In my book, I state: "We crave one thing, regardless of race, gender, culture, or social class: acceptance. The need to belong is powerful because, introvert or extrovert, we are social creatures with a conscience-the ethical inkblot upon which others and we make indelible marks. ... When we concede, We know in our hearts that we are right (or wrong), we refer to this inner compass. When we acknowledge, We have lost our way, we mean that we have not followed this compass. Although others may influence us, the way artists are influenced by masters (role models) or by dilettantes (idols), we are the primary sculptors of conscience. Through it, we create magna opera or rock piles of our lives."

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Philadelphia, Pa.: Mr. Bugeja:

What do you think of Steven Johnson's argument that, in so many words, show-biz is good for you -- and especially for your kids?

Michael Bugeja: I think that this argument at times has merit. Show biz may be good for you, and for your kids--on occasion.

But too much biz is superficial. And kids, especially teenagers, are the first to note that hypocrisy in adults.

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Devakottai, Tamil Nadu, India: Small towns and villages in India and the rest of the developing world had a culture of a friendly and cohesive community. Everyone knew about everyone else and people shared their happiness and sorrow and cared for the others. With the advent of technology and urbanization, this culture is vanishing and in a city like Madras one may not know many people living in the same building (in multistoreyed flats). Life has become more mechanical and impersonal. Can't we have the benefits of both the olive tree societies and the Lexus technologies?

Michael Bugeja: This question is on point, especially in India, a diverse and ancient culture. Because I am also Maltese, I understand how history played in your culture and my own, and though we are geographically distant, we are cousins of time and place.

INTERPERSONAL DIVIDE speaks, in part, about the dissemination of U.S. media culture and how that export threatens what you are concerned about. Remember one's cultural roots and cling to them. Question marketing. Be mindful. Encourage mindfullness.

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Watervliet, New York: My almost-15 daughter spends a lot of time messaging and emailing school chums as well as friends from on-line communities related to writing and the peculiar on-line "fan fiction" genre. Although she's comfortable with people she knows, she tends to avoid socially ambiguous situations (i.e., she's a bit shy). What can I say to her to convince her that face-to-face, or even telephone, communication is better?

Michael Bugeja: You can tell her that I am a writer, and I understand. In fact, when I was 11, I read Writer's Digest, because that magazine helped me bond with others who had a passion for the written word. (My parents and friends in Lyndhurst, N.J., didn't understand that writer's passion. That's not the case in your household, I can tell.)

However, there is another side to this. I am a good writer precisely because I also love community, learning about people and their stories, listening to how they speak and observing how they interact.

You might explain to your daughter that her passion for writing might also help her overcome those socially ambiguous situations, because in those situations, precisely, are the raw materials of good writing.

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Tucson, AZ: How about we shut in disabled persons, using AA or a church or temple in chat rooms, does that not bring us together?

Michael Bugeja: Certainly, technology has expanded the world for people of all categories and brackets, including the disabled. My book deals sensitively with that, of course, because my goal is to use technology wisely--not to avoid using it or question others who do.

I do worry about how the disabled are perceived by those who consume too much media and who overuse technology because our perceptions, when shaped by the high-tech media world, often are stereotypical.

And the disabled that I know also appreciate real visits as well as digital ones, so that counts for something, too. For instance, I can chat for 10 minutes online with someone or send a few hours with him or her, and the latter of course indicates the level of caring, I think.

Now as for religious services, all denominations, I would also like to think that members would welcome and help facilitate attendance of the disabled. Perhaps it is impossible for some disabled persons to attend, in which case, of course, chat rooms are quite beneficial and a proper use of technology. However, I hope that chat rooms of AA or religious services would enhance the interpersonal experience during attendance--enhance, but not replace.

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Anonymous: What is your take on the current college student's usage of computer devises. Being they are the future leaders, how do think their usage patterns may influence work behavior?

Michael Bugeja: I think you raise a pertinent question. I direct a nationally ranked Journalism School at Iowa State. The entire history of journalism is an outdoor experience. And at times, though not often, I have to shoo my reporters outside to cover real life and to speak with sources face-to-face so that they can ascertain motive and observe surroundings.

If you're interested in seeing how college students--not necessarily journalism ones--use technology in their relationships, visit this URL: http://www.oudaily.com/vnews/display.v/ART/2005/04/28/42713010b9cd9

Here's a snippet from that article about the Interpersonal Divide:

"Out of 116 students polled by The Daily, 28.5 percent said they prefer face-to-face contact. The remaining 71.5 percent said they prefer to use an electronic communication device to contact someone."

Our future leaders most value the importance of face-to-face contact. If not, how will they solve the complexities of a global economy?

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Washington DC: We live in a world flooded with content, yet we couple that with an equal amount of personalization. We see the news we want, the way we want, reflecting views we want affirmed. Do you believe that the impersonal world you write about has been made worse by the increasing "customization" of our world/worldview?

Michael Bugeja: Your observation is astute. Yes, I believe that the impersonal world has become even more so because of marketing, which drives media conglomerates in particular.

I cover this extensively in INTERPERSONAL DIVIDE. Here's an excerpt:

Indeed, the very definition of "new media" ... pivots on marketing terminology associated with clusters of like-minded people, undermining idealistic prophecies of the mid-1990s about an informed, global society. ... [T]he world seems smaller because of personal computers. Is it really, or is our vision merely blurred? Certainly we can access home pages or message people almost anywhere on the globe. But have we genuinely become "world citizens," as marketers of the latest technology would have us believe? Do we interact with international visitors more civilly now and respect their cultural values more willingly, because of the World Wide Web? Or do we visit sites that target our lifestyles, ambitions, or needs? Do we speak more languages because of email or chat more in English than ever before? Do our children use technology the way computer makers advertise in commercials, with well-dressed boys and girls doing homework in a shared living space as parents glance over their shoulders admiringly? Or is this a misleading advertising depiction, much like commercials that showcase jeeps on mountaintops instead of in traffic jams?

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norristown, pa: Why is this a problem? In some respects your more connected to the community at large. I talk with people all over the country and the world now, where years ago I only talked with people that lived close to me.

Michael Bugeja: Overuse and overconsumption, and the habits that they create, are the problem. It is good to get the perspectives of people around the globe--but not at the exclusion of those who live close by. And the problem that I am documenting in my book is just that. There is a growing tendency to believe that people somewhere else are more important than the ones in our midst.

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Springfield, VA: Hi there!

I think you're right about a search for a new definition for community. I've concluded that part of what will soon change is the concept of a party system, whereby our political desires are normalized by voting blocs. Each party has a set of policies and platforms, only a portion of which I support in each case. With technology, we can eliminate the need for party affiliations and vote directly on those issues of importance to us.

I feel betrayed whenever my party votes against something in which I believe, but recognize that I have to support a bundle of policies and can't be selective on a policy-by-policy basis. Technology will enable me to be more active at that level of participation as a member of a community...

Michael Bugeja: This is an interesting notion. Perhaps Internet, and the choices it provides, has given users the impression that we can delete what we do not like and select what we do.

However, there is another side, more associated with mass media than new technologies. And that is a media that disseminates more opinion than fact.

I'm a member of the Watergate generation of journalists. We saw how fact led to the resignation of a president who lied to the people.

But now, in our culture of opinion, even comprehensive, veriable fact is considered just another opinion, just another viewpoint among many in the media world. That, alas, I believe, has given us polar viewpoints and the governments that we deserve, including red and blue states.

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Alexandria, VA: Is is true, many young women handle their relationships with men based on popular tv shows?

Michael Bugeja: I'm not an expert on what young women may or may not do in their relationships with others, based on popular TV shows. But television does have an impact on our perceptions of the world and, as such, also influences behavior, not only in women but also in men.

We all have "biological clocks," including men. In my book, I remind readers that this clock ticks for everyone and involves men and women growing gracefully into each stage of biological life.

Book Excerpt:

When we do not grow gracefully into each stage of life, we feel empty, out of step with nature's lifecycle-not because we really are, but because we misread the time. We divorce or leave partners after reproductive years, confronting "biological death." We confront "parental death" when we cannot have children or when our children graduate from high school or college and leave home. We come face to face with our own demise in mid-life with maturity or menopause, trying to recapture the excitement of our mating years or the traditions of familial ones.

When the television states what our lifestyles should be, at each stage of childhood and adulthood, and the diversity of life deviates from that programming, we may believe that something is amiss with us when it really isn't.

We should program our lives, not the media.

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washingtonpost.com: Thanks for joining us Michael. Any final thoughts for people trying to deal with all this?

Michael Bugeja: Ask yourself why you bought a piece of technology. Then ask yourself how you are using it. If you don't ask and answer that question, marketing will.

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